Child of Night (Kind der Nacht)
by Christy Anderson
Summary: The story continues as Ensign Anderson is about to face a dark reality from her past...
1. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 1

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Author: Christy Anderson

You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters

This is a third sequel to the story Void of Night. New readers will not be terribly lost, but if you are more curious, I strongly suggest you begin at Void of Night, followed by Stars of Night. This sequel begins during the episode Deadlock in season 2 where Naomi Wildman is born and other things. The bold italic words in the story are unspoken words transferred over a telepathic link, but not to worry I remind you of that throughout the story. I hope you enjoy this addition. I continue to thank you for your encouragement and support.

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 1

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Ich bin nicht evincißle, dort bin immer ein Punkt des Todes, von an überschreiten. Weil zu allen Sachen, gibt es ein Ende… I am not invincible; there will always be a point of death, of passing on. Because to all things, there is an end.

I smiled weakly and gave myself credit. Ironic-- that when you are so close to death how easily memories flood back. For the past few seconds, that was all that was on my mind. I could picture my father telling me that slowly, as if there was some profound truth that I needed to capture. _Weil zu allen Sachen, gibt es ein Ende… _To all things there is an end.

The secured Bridge was dark, the red flashing lights on and off, on and off. By now I had tuned out the klaxons loud roar. We all sat together, stood together, divulging unspoken thoughts and feelings seconds before the end.

The Captain's face was grim and tightly pressed. Even in her final moments she wouldn't drop her brave façade. She was Captain always and foremost. Sitting on her chair with less than half of the crew surrounding her, she looked ahead, at something that was not visible to the rest of us. Her glare bore past the room, past Voyager, past the Delta Quadrant, and perhaps to Earth. She was careful not to look at any of us, yet if the dim lighting hit her face just right, you could see the small tear forming in her eye. After so many months together, we were here to come to such an ungodly end.

Her shoulders were rigid, and she still had enough pride to hold her head high. Perhaps subconsciously she believed that her achievements were all that mattered. In almost eight months we had accomplished more than any Starfleet mission. One of the highlighted accomplishments was the achievement of surpassing warp 10. As I looked on her face, I could read millions of emotions, only expressed in the frightened look of her eyes.

What amazed me was the calm silence that governed over the entire room, even as we could hear the tortured scream of others. The terrorizing clomping of Vidiian feet seemed to grow louder and louder as the sounds echoed down the corridors. There were maybe sixty of us in the small space of the Bridge that had been ushered in hurriedly and locked in temporarily. Still there was more of the unsuspecting crew spread through all of the decks, innocent victims to the Vidiian. Everyone was frightened and there were small stifled sobs as the computer beeped.

"Fifty seconds until self-destruct," it chimed effortlessly.

For a moment I could see a loss of control of Chakotay's face. It was intriguing how he too could remain so calm. He sat in his chair next to the Captain, and they looked at each other, their gaze communicating more than words ever could. His etched tattoo seemed to be darker than ever, and for the first time I contemplated its meaning, but not for long. He closed his eyes and folded his hands, attempting to shut everything out in his last few moments of life.

Standing at his console, Tuvok was the next I noticed. Yet his unfailing formal appearance showed no distress. He lifted his head and gave a meaningful nod; his own way of revealing how much he had come to respect and appreciate us. Fittingly, he was the first of the group to say anything. "It has been a most rewarding experience serving with you all," he said emotionlessly. Satirically I thought of the positive side to Vulcan logic and control. Even in the face of death and destruction, it did not visibly seem to phase him. I was positive that if Tuvok had heard my thoughts, he would have told me that in accepting the inevitable he found peace, and I realized the degree of truth in that. All things come to an end, even life, yet, my mind was screaming- _Ich möchte nicht sterben… _I do not want to die.

On the opposite side of the group, standing beside the con, Tom bravely faked a horrible smile and nodded his head. "Yeah, it's been great," he said softly, hopelessly. I turned my gaze away from Tuvok and looked at him, his dilapidated smile still plastered on his face. His blue eyes were dark, now, and even in the dim lit room they conveyed more emotion and truth than I wanted to know. His familiar blond hair shone a rusty pink as the red lights continued to flash on and off. His friendly face and his carefree personality had long since been left a ways back. The understanding and pain that harbored in his looks now were too intense to look at.

Interestingly enough, B'Elanna sat on Tom's chair at the con and he stood behind her. Innocently she had her head rested back on him. In such a time as this, her vulnerability and her loneliness shone through her hard exterior. It seemed ironic that in all the months that Tom had desperately tried to be her friend, it took an oncoming death experience to get her to show any affection back to him. Too bad the living Tom Paris would never know.

Outside the Bridge, the trample of heavy feet grew silent, and you could hear the Vidiians clawing cannibalisticly at the doors. Wistfully I acknowledged that they would be upon us at any moment. Haunting screams from unfortunate crewmembers outside the secured Bridge grew louder and more torturous. My face began to turn green as I heard their piercing screams and desperate cries for help. With a sinking feeling I knew that the Vidiians had already finished harvesting healthy organs on Deck 5; Samantha and Kes were probably long dead.

"Twenty two seconds before self destruct," the computer announced defiantly.

I gulped and tried to calm my heart that was pounding speedily in my chest. I looked down at my console at the science station and tried enormously hard not to cry. With a remorseful spirit I recognized that after everything I had been through, I was simply going to die. _Warum müssen Sachen geschehen auf diese Weise?… _Why do things have to happen this way?

Suddenly I felt a comforting touch on my shoulder, and looked up to my right at Tre'kent, the person that I had come to care for more than I had ever imagined. He stared at my face without a word, and opened a telepathic link. **_It will be all right, Christy._**

The message was simple, and I tried to clear my mind of all else. **_I promise..._** he added faithfully. His face was pained, and his thoughts were chaotic. Even so, he could sense the same in me. The comfort of his loving presence beside me helped to control that chaos, and I thought sadly that if I had to die, dying beside the one I loved was the best way to leave this universe.

I turned away and angrily drove my fist to the console. _Warum muß ich sterben?… _Why did I have to die? Why did it have to be them that lived? I was myself until I was duplicated. Or was I the duplicate? Voyager had been avoiding a Vidiian attack by taking refuge in a class nine nebula. We had been crawling along until we were inexplicably stopped, and the warp core failed. The anomaly had duplicated us particle for particle except the antimatter. Kes, or rather a second Kes, had discovered us first. So did that make us the duplicates? Maybe it was the situation, but I couldn't keep my mind off of that taunting thought. With a faint smile I thought about Harry, and the little Naomi Wildman, a Child of Night, barely a few hours old, stored safely away on the other Voyager by now to replace the losses of them on the other crew. I desperately hoped that he still had the PADD I had handed him before he left into the other realm. If I could not live to see tomorrow, then at least my other self should have the decency to know about my well thought decision. Still, did she already know?

"Ten seconds before self destruct," I heard again. With the manner of a frightened child I leaned over and grasped Tre'kent tightly. **_Ich liebe Sie… I love you…_** I told him telepathically.

The doors to the Bridge began to open and give ever so slightly. I could hear their grunted shouts and orders. "Tons of them in here," the Vidiian men shouted. They seemed to be oblivious to the fact that Voyager was about to explode.

Everyone was frightened as the awaited moment approached. From the far side of the room, sobs and wailing cries rang out from one of the young crewman. Instinctually, I lifted my face to see all of the senior staff and miscellaneous crew for the last time. I looked up in time to see two hot tears slip down B'Elanna's cheek as she snuggled closer to Tom. Tom's face held a soft compassion and he drew her in closer as he wiped a tiny tear from his eye. Beside him, Tuvok had bowed his head again and stood peacefully in meditation. I suppose in any situation that it was `illogical' to cry or despair. The Commander imitated a similar state of reflection, attempting to make peace with his ancestors before he died.

Beside him sat the Captain... the Captain. She had been the strong leader in my life on Voyager, and she had accomplished what my Father and friends had not, she grouped me up with Starfleet. Her courageousness and her passion for exploration kept the entire crew going during the long hard months. She had helped us all accept that it might be an eternity before any of us saw earth again, yet paradoxically that was one remote fact that she had not accepted. It was so easy to distinguish the burden that she held as she continued to blame herself for our predicament day after day. The distractions that she constantly surrounded herself with only gave her temporary comfort, relief.

For a long time I had suspected that the Captain was an agnostic, relying only on her beloved science, so I curiously pondered what death meant to her. Was she feeling guilty? Did she believe that she had failed all of us? Failed herself? Perhaps she took comfort in the cold, hard fact that another one of her and us would continue to exist and survive after death. I certainly found nothing reassuring in that reality.

Just like every other day, Captain Janeway bottled herself up to the end and refused to let us see the suppressed inner person that lived everyday behind that carefully placed shield. Maybe that was what death would bring to her, a chance to be herself, and to be free from the bindings of protocol and duty. Perhaps that is what death would bring to us all-- the freedom from homesickness, suffering, and tears.

"Three... Two..." the computer counted.

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Jeder hat aber eine Lebensdauer zu leben… Everyone has but one life to live…

On Earth, there was always that myth that said when you are about to die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. I suppose this description was accurate enough. The truth is, that when you are about to die, you suddenly see things in a different perspective. Your regrets emerge, your lost opportunities and failures. You see those frames in your life where you were the happiest, saddest. You remember those people that you loved the best. You worry about their future, and your own. In my mind I thought of all of this, especially of my Father, Tre'kent, my friends aboard Voyager. In the last seconds, I found my peace, my inner peace.

There was an eternity, a void, enveloped between those last three seconds, enough time to take a step back and come to a fitting conclusion in the ending chapter of my life. The images, the blurs, and the slabs of memories filled my mind as I held onto Tre'kent. With a last deep breath, I cleared the dominating chaos away enough to silently hear Tre'kent's **_I love you too, Christy…_**

"One..."

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To be continued…


	2. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 2

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Author: Christy Anderson

You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters

This is part two of the Child of Night sequel that I have just started. A few were confused on part one, and I recommend to those who have not seen the episode Deadlock from season 2 to refer to [http://www.startrek.com/library/episodes_voy_detail.asp?ID=68892][1]** if they wish. I hope this second part can clarify any other questions that you might have. I hope you all enjoy this-- Christy**

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 2

I flew up in bed, the sweat trickling down my neck and my heart pounding. _Nicht wieder... nicht der gleiche erschreckende Alptraum wieder. Wann geht er überhaupt weg?… _Not again... not the same frightening nightmare again. When will it ever go away?

It had been over six weeks ago since Voyager had been replicated by a freak anomaly. During the last few moments, I had watched from the Bridge as the other Voyager had exploded into streams of light and energy in the dark universe. There were millions of times in the following weeks when I felt almost guilty, even though I knew that the incident could not be helped. At one point, I could almost convince myself of that. Logically, one crew of Voyager had to be sacrificed over the other crew to ensure the survival of at least one ship from the Vidiian attack, and in between, replacing our recent losses from the other crew- Harry and Naomi- was essential.

I had no idea what she went through, the other Christy, and my lack of knowledge haunted me one hundred times worse. What had been her fears, her doubts before she had died? My rendition of her experience had constantly plagued my dreams ever since.

Beside me on the nightstand, sat the very same PADD she had touched before her death. She had given it to Harry as he left with the little Naomi Wildman. The very next day Harry had given it to me without a word. It was probably ridiculous, but I could not help but feel that Harry regarded me as an alien, the clone of the original Christy Anderson. In the past weeks, he had warmed up though.

I picked the PADD up with trembling fingers and read it over again. Those few words that had been written on it in haste contained the key to my life.

During the past weeks that Tre'kent had been on board Voyager, the telepathic link between Tre'kent and myself had grown steadily stronger. The Doctor had Tre'kent and me taking five hyposprays of Glyciporen a day in an effort to reduce the rapid growth of the link.

Finally the Doctor had told us that the situation was simply hopeless and our only options were to create the permanent link, which would instigate pregnancy in months, or to be separated forever to painfully reverse the link. It had been a tough decision to make. At eighteen, I was in no way ready to be a mother or a wife, yet losing the one I loved threatened to tear me into pieces. 

In search for an answer, I had spent hours in the old lab on the holodeck alone, yet talking to my Father did not give me the assurance that I had hoped for. Samantha had only been able to shrug and sigh. "It's not that easy…" she had said, "The choice has to be yours and yours alone."

The Captain, B'Elanna with her few words of Maquis / Klingon wisdom, and even Kes in her infinite source of compassion could only echo similarities of Samantha's words. The choice had to be mine. Perhaps it had been out of my unwillingness to accept my predicament, but for the past few days I had been constantly determined to find a solution. Microscopes, comparative anatomies, holographic scientific counselors, and 500 hypotheses' later, I had been no closer to discovering the solution than the Doctor had been. 

Yet, this PADD that I held contained last minute calculations of divine inspiration. These were the blueprints of a drug that would stabilize the telepathic bond for years. It had been hard to work her plans out perfectly, but the Doctor had come up with a treatment that would stabilize the telepathic bond until Tre'kent and I wanted to do anything further. Unbelievably, the first step of three treatments began today, and would take me a few hours.

Suddenly the computer beeped as the lights came on. "Ensign Anderson, the time is 07:00 hours. You have an appointment in Sick Bay at 08:00 hours."

I groaned and sat up in bed. Hurriedly I hopped into the sonic shower and dressed in my impeccable uniform. I concentrated on a mental image of Tre'kent for a few minutes and finally succeeded in opening a telepathic link between the two of us. **_Good morning…_** I called gently.

Immediately a warm feeling came over me as I heard his voice inside my head. **_Good morning, lieber Sonnenschein… dear sunshine_** he said tiredly.

I laughed as he used a German term of endearment. **_Are you awake?_** I asked him.

**__**

Christy, why do you bother asking? Actually, in a few minutes, I will be on my way to your quarters to escort you to Sick Bay, so you best be ready! he replied.

I cut off the link and moved to the door. It was difficult, painful, to keep the link open over long distances for even short periods of time. I sauntered across the hall and rang the door chimes to Samantha Wildman's quarters. I soon heard her invite me in over the soft cries of a baby, and I walked in to see her hovered over the cradle that Neelix had given her for her newborn child Naomi. With great delight, I walked over and tapped her on the shoulder.

__

"Guten Tag, Christy," she said with a smile. Gently she picked a rowdy Naomi up from her cradle and began to rock her ever so slowly. Noticing how tired she was I tendlerly took Naomi from Samantha and placed her over my shoulder. Samantha gave me a thankful look. _"Danke_… Thank you," she began. "I've been up with her all night and my next shift in the Science Lab starts in three hours. I have not had any sleep."

I tried to understand as best I could. "Neelix comes to watch her then, doesn't he?" I asked with concern.

Samantha nodded. "And you, Christy, are you still going to watch her during my night shift?" she asked hesitantly.

I smiled as I nodded. "Who would not want to watch Naomi?" I asked rhetorically.

"Are you sure? I am not intruding on your time with Tre'kent?"

"Yes, of course, I am sure, Samantha. I will do anything you need. Besides, Tre'kent will be busy in his studies with Lieutenant Gebhart."

Samantha nodded her head in relief. "Didn't the Captain offer you the chance to be his tutor?" she asked with curiosity.

"Yes," I affirmed, "but I turned it down. Tre'kent will benefit more from Lieutenant Gebhart, although Tom would disagree."

Samantha laughed. "I know, Tom gives Lieutenant Gebhart no relief! He says that the Lieutenant could even talk a Ferengi to death."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Lieutenant Gebhart is an intelligent person, and he can be very interesting when you get into more detailed studies. Tre'kent will learn much from him. Moreover, I enjoy watching Naomi; she is hardly any trouble."

Samantha's face showed immediate relief and she profusedly thanked me. "I couldn't do this if it were not for you and Neelix. Who would have thought to arrange a list of babysitters for the day besides Neelix?"

Immediately the door chimes rang and Tre'kent stepped in. By now Naomi's cries had become soft coos. I smiled and looked at the tiny smiling face. _Sie war klein und hübsch, klein…_She was so tiny and pretty, so small. The Ktarian ridges on her forehead were less pronounced than most, and Naomi definitely had her mother's eyes.

__

"Guten Tag, Tre'kent," Samantha said with a smile.

Tre'kent smiled. "Good Morning, Samantha, Naomi," he greeted with cheerfulness.

"How are your studies going, Tre'kent?" Samantha asked.

Tre'kent immediately made a twisted face. "Not well," he admitted.

I laughed and gave him a kiss. Immediately he took my hand and began to lead me out of the room. "And we'll be late if we don't get going…" he reminded me gently.

I turned around and gave Samantha a quick hug. _"Lebe wohl, Samantha! Ich sehe Sie später! … _Good bye, Samantha! I will see you later!" I managed to yell before the doors shut behind us.

I looked up at Tre'kent and smiled inwardly as we flew through the corridors to the turbolift. Just being in his presence uplifted my spirit. The homesickness and lonieness that had threatened to destroy me before was no where near when he was around. The joy he brought into my life was unprecedented, and each day was a new experience to take in.

We stepped into the turbolift. "Sick Bay," he commanded. He looked down at me and smiled.

__

Ich liebte ihn so sehr und ich verwirklichte den vollen Umfang meiner Liebe mehr und mehr, Tag für Tag… I loved him so much, and I realized the full extent of my love more and more, day after day...

I felt a tingle go down my spine as he drew me nearer protectively. Slowly I raised my head up and met him with a kiss. The turbolift jolted to a halt and the doors flew open. I drew away and headed towards Sick Bay.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency," the Doctor said blandly as he turned around. "Ah… Ensign Anderson, Tre'kent," he added with recognition. "Please take a seat."

I hopped up on biobed two and Tre'kent took a seat across from me. The Doctor came up with a hypospray in his hand and injected a compound into my neck. "That will be all, Ensign," he informed me.

I raised my eyebrows questioningly. "That's it?" I asked.

"Yes, for now. However, the Captain requested your presence on the Bridge as soon as you were finished."

"What about Tre'kent?" I asked with persistency.

"I will have to be longer with you, Tre'kent," he answered turning to where he sat. "Your physiology requires much more attention and delicacy."

Tre'kent nodded and smiled. "I'll be sure to find you later, Christy," he promised.

At that moment Tom Paris poked his head through the door. "I'm on my way to the Bridge," he announced. "Any others?" he asked.

The Doctor seemed to get flustered. "Actually Ensign Anderson was just on her way up," he said as he shoved me out the door.

I stumbled into the hall, right into Tom who wore an unusually large smirk.

"Any idea what this is about, Lieutenant?" I asked coyly.

His grin became wider. "Not a clue," he lied.

I gave him a knowing stare. The situation was too perfect, too planned. "Even if I did," he continued, "The Captain would have my head if I told you."

We both entered the turbolift. "Bridge," he directed.

I shook my head and sighed. "What am I walking into?" I asked myself softly.

The turbolift jolted to a halt and practically spilled us out onto the Bridge. "These things are way too jerky!" Tom muttered under his breath. I regained my composure and looked up at the scene before us.

The Captain sat in her chair at the front center of the Bridge, with her arms gesturing wildly at the others. Suddenly she stopped and stood up. "So nice to see you Ensign," greeted me as she turned around at the sound of the commotion. "We have been expecting you…"

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To be continued…

   [1]: http://www.startrek.com/library/episodes_voy_detail.asp?ID=68892



	3. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 3

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Author: Christy Anderson

You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters

Here goes part three… Enjoy!

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 3

The Bridge was brightly lit, and the smile on the Captain's face perfectly complemented the ridiculous smile on Tom's. A note of unmistakable mystery hung suspended in the air. "Take your station, Ensign," Captain Janeway said with a sweeping gesture. Perplexed, I walked across the Bridge and stood behind the ensign that was seated at the science console.

"You are relieved, Ensign," I said softly.

She turned around to show me an elated face full of happiness. "Good Luck," she whispered as she walked away.

I sat down and glanced over my shoulder back at the Captain, who was still smiling. I felt increasingly uncomfortable by the minute as I sat there not knowing what to do. _Etwas hat nicht Recht… _something is not right…

"Take a look at your console, Christy," she gently prodded.

I tapped a few controls and studied the screen. The Bridge was deathly silent as if they were all waiting for my next move. "There is a large spiral galaxy 20 parsecs off our starboard bow," I informed everyone uncertainly.

Suddenly there was an eruption of stifled chuckles behind me. I turned around unsure of who looked more ludicrous- Tom or Harry. Their attempts to control their reactions to an obviously hilarious situation had infested itself in twisted smiles. However, I still could not see what was so entertaining. The Captain, obviously suffering from a similar milder case of giggles, tried again.

"Look again, Christy," she urged.

I sat in silence, unsure of what she wanted. _Ich verstehe nicht… _I do not understand… A more detailed analysis of the galaxy showed over 300 globular clusters and the large composites of neutron stars indicating the rare presence of hundreds of singularities, wormholes. I struggled to comprehend how many of those existed. "Wormholes, Captain?" I questioned nervously.

The tense quiet briefly deepened. Suddenly, I had the entire bridge staff roaring in uncontrollable laughter, minus Tuvok, of course. As I swung around to look at everybody, it was not difficult to notice the tears that were rolling down Tom's cheeks as he laughed harder. The Captain and the Commander laughed together in chorus. Even Harry and B'Elanna were inseparably involved in the overwhelming glee.

Watching that awkward scene, I could feel the inevitable heat rising in my cheeks, becoming more embarrassed as time went on. In my perspective, there was no obvious source to their delightment, and I remained clueless to any factor that had set off such a domino chain reaction.

"You might try looking a little higher," the Captain hinted between gasps for air. In a last attempt to find out what had amused everyone around me so much, I heaved a heavy sigh and shrugged my shoulders.

I turned back to look at the console. I studied the scene molecule by molecule until I discovered an overlooked object beside me. Sitting in plain sight was a PADD that I had missed when I had first taken my seat. I picked it up and scrolled the first few lines. On it were the very detailed schematics of a science away mission to the near galaxy in order to obtain all new scientific data, to develop protective shield modulations, and to acquire the status, condition, and destinations of the singularities within the globular clusters.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I concentrated; every variable was not adding up. The PADD completely threw me for a loop. And perhaps it was the humiliating chain of events, but I still remained unaware of the motives behind everyone's strange actions. "An away mission, Captain?" I questioned hesitantly.

By now Captain Janeway had regained her normal composure. Her eyes vibrantly shone as if she were tremendously proud in the fact that she was about to do something momentous. "Yes," she said matter-of-factly, "An important away mission that I would like you to head up. If there is anyone aboard Voyager that could get us home, it's you."

Harry turned to face me. "Think about it, Christy. This is a chance to finally get home," he said with excitement.

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Haupt erhalten? Vater… To get home? To see Father?

__

Ich dachte nie, daß ich diese Phrase hören würde, ' um nach Hause zu gehen '. Ich wünsche stark, nach Hause zu gehen. Sie würde so wundervoll sein, schließlich Haupt zu erhalten… I never thought that I would hear that phrase, 'to go home'. I ardently wish to go home. It would be so wonderful to get home at last.

Yet I snapped out of my reverie and I raised my eyebrows, still completely confused. "Captain, you believe that one of those wormholes in the spiral galaxy might lead to the Alpha Quadrant?"

She nodded her head, "Possibly, after all, the number of singularities that exist in this galaxy is phenomenal. Check your console- there are hundreds of them. I do not think that Starfleet has ever seen anything like this!" she exclaimed.

"The possibility defies astronomical odds," I admitted as I tapped on the console a few more times. "However, I am reading massive amounts of quantum foam and hydronium ions. If sensors are correct, the p.H. of that foam is 2. The foam is so acidic that it will eat the plating right off our hull!" I exclaimed.

She nodded. "We know. We have been studying this since 03:00 hours this morning. B'Elanna has ascertained that Voyager cannot get any closer without being harmed. Long-range sensors are unable to show us anything beyond the foam. We've already tried to launch a probe, but it disintegrated within seconds. We need to launch a shuttle."

"Captain," I started, "I still do not understand…" I informed her as I held up the PADD. "Taking a shuttle into that galaxy is dangerous as well."

She nodded her head again. Tuvok sidestepped his console and walked up behind the Captain. "Permission to speak," he requested.

"Granted," the Captain said without hesitation.

"Ensign Anderson, it is established that this is a risk. However, Voyager is much more susceptible to that foam, though, than a shuttle will be. You will have more time to develop a shield modulation to protect you from the acidic environment."

"That is a large risk to take, Captain," I persisted. "We would only have an hour or two at the most- hardly enough time to do anything." It seemed like a dream, the goal was there- it was unreachable.

__

Ich darf nicht meinen Wunsch lassen, Vorhang nach Hause zu erreichen ich. Diese Gefahr ist gefährlich. Wir könnten gegessenes lebendiges sein… I must not let my desire to reach home blind me. This risk is dangerous. We could be eaten alive…

The Captain rubbed the spot between her eyes that signaled an oncoming headache. "I know, Ensign, but I have no choice. This galaxy extends for lightyears upon lightyears- it will take three extra years to go around it, but only a few short months to go through it. I am not willing to accept that, not when there is a possibility that one of those wormholes could lead to the Alpha Quadrant." She sighed and ducked her head.

Siren blared in my mind. _Diese Gefahr ist nicht wert das Nehmen_ … This risk is not worth taking. "Captain, there has to be another option. Risking a shuttle crew should not be one of them," I protested.

The Captain glowered as I challenged her authority. "I've already made my decision, Christy," she continued, "and I would like for you to be with me on this. I have assigned Tom and B'Elanna to this mission as well, and they will fully be able to brief you on everything. The away mission is scheduled for launch at 09:00 hours tomorrow, so you will have until then to gather any of the materials you might need. You have my permission to replicate any other resources that Voyager lacks. I hope that I have made myself quite clear, and I request your presence in my Ready Room at 22:00 hours. Make sure that you are fully acquainted with this mission at that time. Understood?" she asked as she glared.

I gave a slight nod. _Warum kann sie nicht sie sehen? Warum schließt sie ihre Augen auf dieser Aufsicht? … _Why can she not see it? Why does she shut her eyes on this situation?

"Good, you three are dismissed. You have the Bridge, Commander," she said hotly as she retreated towards her Ready Room. Simultaneously Tom and B'Elanna stood up from their stations and proceeded towards the turbolift. I turned my head and looked at Chakotay who could only stare at the scene that had erupted before his eyes. With one angry glance he pushed his way past me.

"Tuvok, you have the Bridge," he hollered as he chased after the Captain.

I slowly backed away to join Tom and B'Elanna as they entered the turbolift. As the doors shut behind there was an uncomfortable silence, and no one made a move.

Tom cleared his throat. "Where to?" he asked to break the spell.

"Well, we can't stay here all day," B'Elanna impatiently announced. The silence was irritating; nerves were frayed. Still, no one moved a muscle.

"Engineering," she commanded fiercely. "I have work to do before we leave. Vorik needs to be briefed on monitoring and maintaining the core," she added after awhile to rationalize her decision. The turbolift came to a jolting halt and B'Elanna hesitantly stepped out. "I'll meet with you in three hours in the Mess Hall," she announced after an uneasy pause. Angrily she stormed away and the turbolift doors shut behind her.

Yet B'Elanna had not taken the cumbersome silence with her, and both of us stood there in the turbolift without any direction. I pondered the direct effects of the Captain's heated actions on the Bridge. As a result, we were all irritable, on edge, stunned to see her loss of control on her emotions. "So what just happened here?" I asked slowly in amazment.

Tom shrugged. "I suppose we have all been under a great deal of stress," he answered, avoiding my gaze.

I shook my head. _"Der Kapitän ist falsch. Sie glaubt, daß wir nach Hause um jeden Preis gehen müssen… _The Captain is wrong. She believes that we must get home at all costs," I said softly, then sighed. "Holodeck," I commanded without another moment to think.

Tom raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"We are going to retrieve some instruments," I explained. Tom nodded his head, but still remained quiet. "So you should start explaining about our away mission…" I seriously urged.

"Well we are hoping to get home…," he started.

****

To be continued…


	4. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 4

****

Author: Christy Anderson

You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson, Tre'kent, and a few selected insignificant characters.

The Captain and Ensign Anderson get into a heated discussion whether or not the mission is worth the risk, and Christy gets the Captain to admit something that she has been suppressing for a long time.

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 4

My quarters were darkened as I stared over the PADD in my hand. After a few hours I had prepared an impeccable 'pre-launch' program, an idea that I had come up with myself. It was a file that would activate itself at 05:00 hours and help ready and second check everything before the away mission launched; after all this was my second mission to command, although the first had been on a much smaller scale. The experience of being on the Moheelean home world was infested in memories that I still continued to relish and abhor. However on that away mission I was not in command of two superior officers. As a shiver went down my spine, I hoped that I wouldn't make any embarrassing errors.

With a smile of pride, I indulged in daydreaming of how my program would turn out. Snapping out of a foolish waste of time I turned to second check all of the equipment that littered the floor around me. Most of these instruments were not Starfleet issue, but rather were replicated duplicates of the many instruments in the old lab. From across the room the soft crying of a baby erupted.

When I had consented to watch Naomi for Samantha tonight, I had no idea that Naomi would be this restless. Still, grateful for the interruption, I rushed across the room and swept Naomi up in my arms. "Shhh…" I gently coaxed.

Patiently I rocked her back and forth. A small memory of a German lullaby that my Father used to sing to me came to mind. The familiar opening bars of music began to play in my head and before I realized it I was humming the soothing tune aloud. For a few short moments I struggled to remember the words, but they easily came back.

"_Die Nacht hat Überfluss und Sie sind wach, Kein Komfort willt Ihr kleines Innernehmen._

Liebstes kleines Kind der Nacht, Umfassen Sie bitte Schlaf, um Ihre Lage zu beenden.

Ich singe Ihnen einen Lullaby, In den Hoffnungen, daß Sie Ihre Augen schließen.

Lullaby, weich, süß, Lullaby, Gehen Sie zu schlafen, wie die Nacht vorbei fliegt.

Sie sind ziemlich sicher und ich bin nahe, Kein Schaden beherbirgt überhaupt hier.

Lullaby, weich, süß, Lullaby, Hören Sie auf mich und schließen Sie Ihre Augen.

Liebstes kleines Kind der Nacht, Lassen Sie kommende Träume geben Ihnen Flug.

Ich singe Ihnen einen Lullaby, Von den Monden und von den Sternen oben im Himmel.

Die Nacht hat Überfluss und Sie schlafen, Ein schlafen Kind, damit ich halte…

The night abounds, and you are awake, No comfort will your small heart take.

Dearest tiny Child of the Night, Please embrace sleep to end your plight.

I sing to you a lullaby, In hopes that you will close your eyes.

Lullaby, soft, sweet, lullaby, Go to sleep as the night flies by.

You are quite safe, and I am near, No harm shall ever harbor here.

Lullaby, soft, sweet, lullaby, Listen to me and shut your eyes.

Dearest tiny Child of the Night, Let oncoming dreams give you flight.

I sing to you a lullaby, Of moons and stars up in the sky.

The night abounds and you are asleep, A slumbering child for me to keep."

An emotional alarm sounded in my head as I sang. _Kind der Nacht… Kind der Nacht… _Child of Night… it was remotely too familiar- my Father's voice, my Mother's, arguments, safety, harbor, shelter, comfort, fear…

Abruptly I stopped singing, noticing that Naomi had fallen asleep. I put her down again, lying her in the small crib that I had replicated for the times when I watched her for Samantha. I sighed and stared as Naomi gave a small yawn and settled down tranquilly. Brusquely the computer sounded an alarm.

"Ensign Anderson the current time is 21:45 hours. Your presence is requested in the Captain's Ready Room at 22:00 hours," it stated flatly.

Naomi awakened from her short-lived nap and commenced crying again. Desperately I hit my Comm badge. "Ensign Anderson to Neelix," I called.

"Neelix here," he replied.

I gave an exasperated sigh. "Where are you?" I inquired. "You said you could watch Naomi when I went to see the Captain…"

"My, my, my… Is it that time already?" Neelix asked rhetorically. "Christy, I'm sorry, I just can't make it. I still have a very large dinner crowd to feed, and they all have hungry tummies," he optimistically apologized.

"What am I going to do with Naomi?" I questioned desperately. By now her cries had become as loud as Voyager's red alert klaxons.

"I'm sure the Captain wouldn't mind if you brought her along," Neelix offered in his normal carefree and cheerful manner. "Neelix out," he said as the Comm link closed.

I threw my hands up in surrender and gently picked Naomi up again. There was no time to debate my decision or I would be late. Carefully, I balanced her over my shoulder and used my free hand to pick up the PADD I had been working on. Shaking my head, I exited my quarters and headed for the turbolift.

On the Bridge, Tuvok escorted me to the Captain's Ready Room. He introduced me, and then made way for me to enter. The Captain dismissed him and then stared in amazement at the spectacle that had entered her room.

"_Ich entschuldige mich, Kapitän_," I slipped.

From where the Captain stood came a glare that would melt dry ice reminding me of what language I was to speak in. I nervously cleared my throat. "I apologize, Captain," I began again. "I am watching Naomi for Ensign Wildman tonight, and I had no other choice but to bring her. I hope you do not mind."

To my surprise the Captain laughed and took Naomi out of my arms. Gently she played with the child, until Naomi erupted in uncontrollable coos. "You my dear will be a Starfleet Captain one day," Captain Janeway softly prophesied with a smile. Silently she handed Naomi back to me and offered me a seat. I consented and took the chair opposite her, and cautiously balanced Naomi on my lap.

There was an uncomfortable pause, and the tension from the morning's episode was still thick. Suddenly the Captain expelled a large breath of air and then started slowly. "I trust that you've looked over the mission," she stated crestfallen.

I nodded slowly. "Yes Captain," I said emotionlessly. I shifted my gaze down to Naomi; it was all of a sudden too painful to look Captain Janeway in the eye. Perhaps it was my hurt pride, the fact that she had dismissed my objections and me so readily, that made me feel inferior in her presence.

"What is your opinion of it, Christy?" she asked abruptly.

"The mission is unsound," I intoned. I felt repetitive, like a broken record, saying the same things over and over again. "The plan is foolishly dangerous, Captain, and I do not completely trust that well will succeed. I still believe that we should take the time to think of a plan that is less hazardous."

Her face formed into a frown. "You do not understand! There's no time for…" she began to protest.

"Captain," I interrupted hastily, "it is unlike you to attempt something so dangerous if members of your crew are at stake."

Immediately she erupted. "You are not in position to tell me what and what I do not do!" she hollered as she stood up from her seat.

I almost dropped Naomi at the sound of her enraged voice. Surprisingly Naomi remained quiet and inactive. Unexpectedly, the Captain collapsed back down into her own chair. She began to shake her head vigorously. "Oh God," she whispered, "I had the same conversation with Chakotay today."

She seemed to break down almost onto the verge of tears. Out of respect for her, I remained deathly silent. As quick as her breakdown had come, she lifted her shoulders painfully with pride. "Christy, I owe you an apology for my conduct-- for now and for on the Bridge this morning."

I continued to watch her with fascination. Gently she rubbed the spot in between her eyes. "I am well aware that this is a large risk to take…" she said after she cleared her throat, "but there are no other possibilities. Since this began, I have endlessly thought up every possible scenario in my mind. This plan is the only way that will save us the three years that it will take to go around the galaxy."

She hesitated, trying to pull the words out of the air. "We could learn new things- exploration is always worth the risk. Voyager would also be here to pull you out of any trouble you might run into," she added frantically.

I nodded my head to accept her apology. As the silence wore on, I opened my mouth to speak. "I spoke out of turn, Captain," I admitted, pondering what I was about to say next. "But this isn't just about saving time or learning new things," I prodded gently. "Is it?" I challenged.

Her face turned ashen white. "This is simply about getting us home," I continued. "Is it not?"

Her hands began to shake violently, and she began to shake her head over and over. Subconsciously, I moved my hand to my Comm badge, ready to signal to Sick Bay for a medical emergency. But the Captain lifted her face, tears whelming up in the corners of her eyes. "Ever since I destroyed that array almost nine months ago, I have lived each subsequent day in agony. I was given charge of this crew and at the first test of command, I stranded them here in the Delta Quadrant for perhaps the rest of their lives. I cannot live with it anymore. I cannot take putting them through anymore sufferings."

"Look at her," the Captain continued as she pointed toward the baby in my arms. "Naomi will never see her father because of me… Samantha will never see her husband. Harry will never see his mother. Tom will never see his father. You will never see your family. I will never see… Mark… ever again…"

The Captain closed her eyes in torment. Momentarily she picked up her head again, the all familiar 'Captain' look back in control on her face again. All traces of the confession that she had just divulged to me were gone. "Do you want to get home?" she questioned rhetorically. Without waiting for an answer she continued after driving her point in. "I know that you will do an excellent job in commandeering this mission, and I know that you will succeed. I have complete faith in you, Christy. There is not another person I trust to get us home more than you," she admitted. 

I could only nod my head again. "I am grateful for your trust that you put in me, Captain," I said softly. With no further ado, I handed her a PADD. "This is my preliminary plan for the mission. It also includes a detailed list of the items that we are taking along."

She nodded understandingly while scrolling down the first few lines. "A containment modulator? A triaxle scanner?" she questioned. "Some of these things are not exactly Starfleet issue," she accused.

"I know, Captain," I admitted. "They are instruments I used in my Father's lab. After all, you gave me the permission to replicate anything Voyager lacked."

"Indeed, I did. I'll review over your preliminary plan later tonight," she said stolidly. "If that is all…" she let her voice trail off. 

I shook my head knowing full well what my duty was. "Permission to speak for the record," I requested formally.

"For the record," she repeated crossly.

"May you enter it in the record that Ensign Christy Anderson, identification number 500341, submitted in a formal objection to her commanding officer, Captain Kathryn Janeway, at 22:29 hours concerning the dangerous nature of the away mission that will be launched at 09:00 hours at Stardate 49645.3."

Her face remained frozen straight. "I'll enter those exact words in the record," she said stiffly.

I nodded seriously and put a sleeping Naomi back over my shoulder. The Captain rigidly stood up. "I'll see you and your team Ensign, then, before you launch tomorrow. Have a good night's sleep." Captain Janeway let out a sharp breath of air. "You are dismissed, Ensign Anderson," she said, the words flying out of her mouth like spitfire.

I slowly walked to the door, cautious to not wake Naomi. As the doors opened, I turned back around with a single thought in my mind. "You say the risk is worth taking, Captain - yet what if we die?" I asked hauntingly as I left the Captain to her thoughts.

With a heavy heart I sank back down into the couch in my quarters. Samantha had long since come and retrieved her baby. Now as the hours of the night ticked away, I was left to my own restless thoughts of insecurity. Truthfully I was unsure of whether or not we would succeed. The acidity of the quantum foam that flooded the galaxy destroyed anything within seconds. I tried not to doubt Voyager's ability to rescue us if anything went wrong, but the shuttle missions I had secretly simulated on the holodeck proved to be unnerving. They showed that the minute we entered the galaxy, communication with Voyager was inevitably lost. It relied on the Captain, then, to decipher whether or not we were in trouble. Although I had not brought it up in our conversation, I left it etched in the middle of my preliminary report in bold letters.

Suddenly the door chimes rang. "Come in," I said weakly.

To my surprise Tre'kent walked in the room. "Tre'kent," I whispered.

He walked over and sat down beside me. "I thought you would be asleep before your big day tomorrow," he said gently.

"No you did not," I said coyly, "or you would not have come in."

****

You know me too well, he transmitted telepathically.

I shivered suddenly and leaned on his shoulder. "So how was your day?" he asked

"Not well," I summed up in two words.

"I heard about your display on the Bridge," he commented with a smile.

Playfully I swatted at him. "There's nothing to laugh about," I said seriously. My heart was pounding, my head was screaming; I was petrified of what the next day held. I felt a chill up my spine, and suddenly a warm, calming feeling came over me. I realized that Tre'kent had opened up another link between our minds.

****

The mission? he asked.

****

Yes, the mission. I said without any emotion.

Tre'kent respected my silence and put his arm around me. He planted a kiss on my forehead and protectively drew me closer. "It's not like you to be so vocal to the Captain. Challenging her authority is a large jump from qualifying for a Bridge shift," he said after a time.

I sighed and moved to look him in the eye. "Would you speak up if you knew you were condemned to die?" I asked angrily.

He shuddered back appalled. "It's not as bad as all that is it, Christy?" he asked.

"I ran simulations, Tre'kent; I made calculations. It seems that most likely once we enter the galaxy, we will lose all communications with Voyager. If anything happens, Voyager will not know. There are tons of variables; I cannot predict everything that will happen. Tre'kent, I would be lying if I told you that I did not fear for my life."

"I'll look out for you. I promise," he said seriously. "Does Tom and B'Elanna know any of this?"

"If you are asking whether they know about the simulations, the answer is no. I felt no need to worry them. However, they are well aware that the mission is dangerous."

****

The Captain? he asked again.

****

I tried to tell her, but she would not listen. It is written in my report, though, in bold letters; I hope she takes me seriously, I told him.

****

I am sure she will, he answered.

"You don't understand," I almost shouted. "Over the past few days, she has changed somehow. She isn't her normal self."

"I'm sure she's under a great deal of stress," he coaxed, trying to quench my endless fears. "However," he continued, "I have no doubt in your abilities. You'll drive an excellent mission," he encouraged.

I smiled at his weak attempt to comfort me and gave him a kiss. I leaned back down against his chest and curled my feet up next to me on the couch. Softly I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to drift. **Who sent you to check up on me?** I asked accusingly.

****

Tom told me about what was happening, and I was worried about you, he admitted. Lovingly, I gave Tre'kent another kiss and closed my eyes again. He gently stroked my hair. "Do you want me to leave so that you can get some sleep? You have a big day tomorrow…" he asked.

I shook my head. "_Bleiben Sie mit mir… _Stay with me," I whispered.

****

I love you, he told me softly.

****

I love you too, I replied. I took his hand in mine and brought it up to my face. I looked out the window and saw the stars, now still and stationary. I could feel their beams of light shining on my face. "Stay with me," I sleepily whispered again.

"I'll always be with you," he soothingly said as I fell gently into slumber.

****

To be continued…


	5. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 5

****

Author: Christy Anderson

You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson, Tre'kent, and a few selected insignificant characters.

An apology goes out to everybody for the time that it took me to come up with the next part, but finally it is finished. And so embarks Part 1 of eventful and momentous away mission to the unknown depths to chart a course home to the Alpha Quadrant…

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 5

I gave a sleepy yawn and stretched. Outside my window were millions of bright stars just standing still. With a contented smile, I rolled to my other side and sat up in bed. The events from the previous night were a blur. I remembered falling asleep on the couch in Tre'kent's arms. That only left the question as to how I got here.

Slowly I began to become more alert and I noticed a note on the pillow beside me. "Christy- you fell asleep, and I had to carry you to bed. I'll see you in the morning- at 06:00 in Shuttle Bay 2; I know you'll be there extra early to set things up. Love you, Tre'kent," the note read. With a gasp I sat straight up.

"Computer, confirm the current time," I commanded.

The computer beeped. "The time is 05:45 hours," I stated impassively.

"Computer, what is the status of Anderson 'Pre-Launch' file?" I asked in confusion.

The computer beeped again. "Inactive."

I shook my head as I realized that I had fallen asleep before I had activated the file. "Begin program," I commanded.

Immediately the computer began to do its job. "Confirming the current time… forty five minutes behind schedule… combining beginning processes," the computer droned.

Lethargically I stood up out of bed and headed to the sonic shower, the program in full swing. Nearly ten minutes later I was preparing to head to the Shuttle Bay. "Computer, give me a full report," I demanded.

"All items within inventory are confirmed to be in the cargo hold of shuttle 2. Initiating third wake up call to Lieutenant Paris. Checking on Lieutenant Torres' bio-sign… confirmed… Lieutenant Torres is in the sonic shower in her quarters; status: conscious and alert. Wake up calls for B'Elanna Torres postponed indefinitely. Scheduled departure check… status: pending," the computer began to report. "Simulation analysis…"

"Computer," I interrupted. "Belay auditory sub-processes for five minutes and resume in Shuttle Bay 2," I ordered as I walked out the door. With a smile, I realized that it had been a good idea to check for B'Elanna's bio-sign before initiating the wakeup calls. I had spared myself an agitated Klingon.

"Acknowledged," the computer intoned.

I hastened my pace in order to be ahead of time. My thoughts were jumbled and confused, and the nervousness was beginning to catch up to me. Outside of the Shuttle Bay stood Tre'kent, with a boastful smile on his face. "I thought you would have been here hours ago," he joked lightly.

I stepped up to him and gave him a kiss. "I slept in," I said with a laugh. Without another thought, I grabbed his hand and stepped into the Shuttle Bay just in time to hear the computer kick back into its report.

"Initiating fifth wake up call to Lieutenant Paris," the computer said as it brought me up to date.

I sighed and shook my head. "Computer, cut time between the wakeup calls in half," I said hurriedly as I boarded the shuttle with Tre'kent in tow. He leaned over my shoulder and gave me another kiss. "Stop it," I whispered angrily, "I'm already late."

He gave me a hug and gently apologized. I smiled weakly and began to tap the controls of the console in the shuttle. "Computer, display the analysis of the simulations that I ran yesterday." Immediately a computer generated report filled the screen. Quickly, I scanned down the first few lines.

"Good Morning," came another voice from the back of the shuttle. I turned around to find B'Elanna.

"Good Morning," Tre'kent answered politely. Without hesitation, B'Elanna came up from behind me and began to read over my shoulder.

"What is that?" she asked while raising her eyebrow.

"Nothing much," I said as impassively as I could. Truthfully it contained some very negative and slim results for the outcome of our mission. With a sigh, I pulled a PADD from a shelf and interfaced it with the console. "Computer, transfer the report to the data PADD," I commanded as I headed out of the shuttle leaving Tre'kent and B'Elanna behind. "Computer, update," I said as I grabbed the bag that I had left in the Shuttle Bay the previous day.

On command the computer began an updated report. While listening, I continued to search through the bag for the PADD that contained some valuable scientific information from Voyager's database about quantum foam, singularities, neutron stars, and nebulas. There were also some beginning hypothesizes and calculations that I had made from the shuttles simulations yesterday. Suddenly, I heard footsteps come up behind me.

"What is all this?" B'Elanna shouted over the computer's voice. Rapidly I explained to her what I had designed my program to do. She nodded as if she was impressed.

"Not bad," she said softly.

The computer sounded a small short alarm. "Initiating 15th wake up call to Lieutenant Paris," it informed us.

A wicked smile formed over B'Elanna's face. "Trying to wake up Tom, are you?" she asked with a smile. She took in a deep breath. "Computer, cut the time between wakeup calls in half and increase volume to maximum."

She turned and looked at me. "He should be here shortly," she said as she shrugged her shoulders and headed back to the shuttle.

I looked up at Tre'kent and tried to resist laughing at B'Elanna's uncompassionate solution; unfortunately we both broke out into uncontrollable hysterics at the thought of Tom being blasted into another universe by the computer's voice.

B'Elanna raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes as she watched us. She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by the computer.

"Wake up calls have been terminated," it announced.

"Why?" she interjected.

"Lieutenant Paris has initiated a security override."

I shook my head. "Tom can do all that, but he cannot wake up on time," I said in a surprised tone.

"Computer, what's the security clearance?" B'Elanna asked.

"A security clearance of level 6 is required."

B'Elanna gave a coy smile. "He's on to you Christy, but he didn't figure in me," she said mysteriously.

"Computer, override. Security clearance Torres 6-9-4," she commanded.

The computer beeped. "Wakeup calls resumed," it stated.

A few minutes later a very disgruntled Tom trudged into the Shuttle Bay. Sleepily he opened his eyes and started over to me. "You know," he began, "I could turn you over to the Captain for compromising Voyager's security systems."

I smiled. "It wasn't me," I said sweetly, innocently.

Silently B'Elanna exited the shuttle where she had been working and sneaked up behind Tom. "I did it," she said pleasantly.

Tom jumped up and spun around to see the half Klingon. "I should've guessed," he joked.

At that moment the doors to the Shuttle Bay swished open and the Captain walked in. "Time to get to work. Christy, I need to see you, now," she announced hotly as she marched over towards me.

Tre'kent saw her coming and gave me a hug. **I guess I should get going, **he transmitted telepathically. **I'll see you when you get back…**

I turned and gave him a kiss. **_Auf Wiedersehen… _Goodbye, **I answered.

He stepped away to avoid crashing into Captain Janeway who was on an intercept course. Slowly he turned and walked away. **I love you,** he transmitted as he exited the room. Wistfully I stared off after him and sighed inwardly to myself.

"Christy?" the Captain questioned again. She looked confused and worried.

I snapped out of my reverie and equaled my gaze to hers. "Yes, Captain?" I responded.

"Is everything ready?" she asked after a time.

I mutely nodded.

"Good," she said with decisiveness. She cleared her throat and motioned me to a secluded corner. Expectedly she ducked her head before she began. "I read your report," she whispered harshly.

I acknowledged her with another nod. Without anything more the Captain continued. "I also found an analysis in your database of your shuttle simulations you ran on the holodeck yesterday."

My head sprung up. "You were searching in my database, Captain?" I asked cautiously.

The Captain gave me a hard stare. "I actually caught the computer finishing the analysis up. I snatched the report from there," she said matter-of-factly.

I let out a breath of air and relaxed a little, but the Captain's face showed that she still had more to say. The silence was becoming deafening and the tension was thick. Finally the Captain drew in a sharp breath of air. "Why didn't you tell me?" she finally exploded.

I tried to look for an appropriate comment that would not get me into any trouble. "_Sie schienen auch mit dem Erhalten wir Haupt, Kapitän in Anspruch genommen… _You seemed too preoccupied with getting us home, Captain," I replied steadily and respectfully. 

The Captains eyes bore down upon me when she heard the German and she gave me a strange look as my words began to sink in. She softened the strong features on her face and gave me a genuine glance of concern. "I was wrong," she stated simply and apologetically. "I rethought some issues last night and I decided to leave it up to you. Do you still willingly want to send this away mission?"

I did a double take and took a few steps backwards. "Are you asking me if I still want to go?" I restated, uncertain of whether or not I would find myself dreaming.

The Captain's face remained straight. "Yes, I'm giving you the choice to send or cancel the mission…" her voice trailed off.

Amazed, I looked up at her. Captain Janeway's eyes were expectant yet concerned, and she tried her best to not convey any of her own feelings towards the matter that would instigate any partiality in my judgement. Yet deep in her eyes, almost too small to see, was a haunted, tortured expression, and at this moment I realized how much I had rattled her the previous night when I had suggested that we might die attempting to complete the mission.

Over my time on Voyager I had learned many different things, but one of the first was the fact that the Captain was a complex person. In a flash, I thought back to her pained confession- the masked guilt- the grotesque fact that we were estranged from our families for perhaps an immeasurable amount of time. Amazingly, there was a window of opportunity that lied before us; it was only heavily guarded and armed, but there was a chance, a small chance. Still, there was a chance… a chance to see Father and my family again.

I stared back up at the Captain. Her shoulders were straight and her head was lifted high, a proud Starfleet Captain trying her best to get her crew home. _Haupt, Masse…_ Home, Earth… a planet I had not seen in almost nine months, yet it was inhabited by a minority of people that held onto parts of my life and my heart. The homesickness and the suffering I had been through over these months would be soon put to rest if I was only but home. Not only I, but there were nearly 150 more people on Voyager that wanted to go home too.

__

Wir teilten ganz den Traum von nach Hause gehen. Er war venspoken Wunsch, einen unterdrückten Wunsch, ein verstandenes Ziel, und er blieb mit uns während unserer täglichen Lebensdauern und Aufgaben… We all shared the dream of going home. It was an unspoken desire, a suppressed wish, an understood goal, and it remained with us throughout our daily lives and duties.

Yes, we all had common ties and a common dream… a dream to get home. However, in spite of everything, we had been 'here' before.

There was a time, not too long ago, when we had found a wormhole to the Alpha Quadrant. I remembered how happy I had been. The hopes and dreams that had come within my reach had lifted up my spirits indefinitely, it had seemed then. Satirically there had been a Romulan on the other opening who had slowly been coaxed to help us. After a time, we had found out that the wormhole indeed led within 15 light years of the nearest Starfleet base, only twenty years before Voyager ever existed. Even though we gave him a chip with our letters to home to give to Starfleet twenty years later, we found out from the computer's database that he died four years before he would have ever given the chip away.

Yes, we had been 'here' before. 'Here' was the dream of going home that made us instantly drop our guards and defenses, only to be brokenhearted when the dream suddenly ended. With a heavy heart I realized the impact that this must have made upon the Captain, my Captain. If I was pained, then she was pained 150 times more.

She endured all of our pain, and she suffered with us, her crew. If we were happy, she was joyous with us. If were sick, she was strong for us. If we were worn from the tremendous journey, she carried us along with her. In this woman, whom I at 18 was nearly taller than, was the vast strength that carried the burdens and baggage of life that had surpassed all of our emotional capacity.

Unexpectedly, I looked up at her with a renewed sense of courage and exploration. The aura that surrounded her had that knack for spurring up the best in each of us. It was an indescribable force that pushed us to believe wholeheartedly in whatever we set our minds to. Without fail, the expectancy in her eyes was still there though, stronger than ever. It was a desperate plea, "please keep 'here' alive".

A faint smile began to play upon my face. I straightened my shoulders and attempted to stand as proud and tall as she did. I drew in a decisive breath. "Captain, we're ready for take off," I said optimistically with an understanding gaze.

At first she gave me a doubtful stare as if she was unsure of I had just said. After all the resistance I had offered her, I stood here in the Shuttle Bay and contradicted all of my previous decisions and arguments to risk my life for an astronomically small possibility of getting home. Still, a look of relief spread over her face when she recognized that I was serious. "I know you can do it," she encouraged me softly. "Prepare to launch," she said as she twirled around and went out the doors headed for the Bridge.

"I won't let you down," I inaudibly called after her.

The shuttle rocked slightly as Tom eased us out of the oncoming turbulence from the galaxy. We stood by waiting for the 'go' signal from Voyager. I was still in the small cargo hold carefully bringing in some of the instruments that I had brought along. From her console, B'Elanna eyed me as she saw a few of the strange structures and designs. I handed her a jar like object. "When we first enter the quantum foam, I want you to fill this up with a sample using the transporters." She nodded and watched as I stacked some objects that resembled tricorders.

"Voyager to away team," the Comm system crackled. "You are cleared to enter the galaxy. If we do not hear from you in two hours we are going to come in after you. Try to keep communication open."

I saw Tom give a nod and begin to tap the controls on the helm console in front of him. "Acknowledged," I replied as I shut the link. "B'Elanna scan for anything out in front of us," I requested gently.

B'Elanna shook her head. "Can't see anything but this foam," she replied.

"Take us in Tom," I commanded with my heart in my throat. "Slowly," I reminded him.

It took less than five minutes to reach the outer perimeter of the galaxy. B'Elanna momentarily stopped to strategically plan what we would do first.

"Now Tom, you will keep us steady and then get your butt back here to help us. I'll use the transporters to take a sample of the foam. Christy will study it and come up with something from there… At the same time, we will need to try to keep shields, sensors, and communication with Voyager intact and operational," she said speedily.

Tom turned around to face her. "Whoa, B'Elanna, slow down. Let's take it one step at a time."

"Unfortunately we might not have that long," I reminded him.

Tom turned back around to his console as if he were ignoring me and began to tap on the controls again. "Three seconds until we enter," he informed us. "Two… One…"

Immediately the shuttle lurched and I was flung down to the floor. I struggled to push myself back up again.

"Shields at 95% and failing," B'Elanna announced from her console.

"Tom, get us steady," I yelled as I picked up one of my instruments that had fallen to the floor.

The shuttle shook again, and I could hear a large explosion from the back.

"The quantum foam is clogging our nacelles," Tom announced in a panic.

"Diverting full power to the shields and the deflector," I told both of them as I tapped my console. Momentarily the shuttle stopped shaking, and Tom was able to balance us out.

"Initiating transport," B'Elanna broadcasted to us. Within seconds she handed me the jar full of bubbling foam. "I'm going to work on some basic algorithms to stabilize our shields, ok?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Tom! Get back here to help me!" she yelled.

From my corner, I ran my triaxle scanner over the sample of foam. Without warning, the shuttle dangerously lurched again.

"I can't keep our position stable," Tom declared, the panic once again rising in his voice. "The gravimetric waves outside the shuttle are increasing, and the scanners are malfunctioning… shields down to 54% and failing…"

"_Versuch... Versuch! _Hurry!" I cried. The German was the only thing that could come to my mind in this fast pace situation.

"English!" B'Elanna yelled as she moved up to meet him. "Here let me help you," she said calmly.

Deciding that they could get the situation under control I turned back around with the triaxle scanner to pick up the exact acidity. Unfortunately the readings were slow coming and jumbled. "Come on," I whispered. "You never failed me at home."

Finally the readings began to clear up. "2.72193!" I exclaimed with excitement. Quickly I made some mental calculations. To neutralize the acidity I needed to combat it with an alkaline solution of 9.72193. I thought of all the possible ways we could coat our shield frequencies with an alkaline solution. From the helm, B'Elanna and Tom were about to lose control of the shuttle. I rushed over to the security console and began to tap violently on the controls.

"What are you doing?" B'Elanna asked as she hurried over to where I was working.

"I'm neutralizing the acid," I said gradually as I tried to keep my focus on what I was doing.

"What?"

"Watch," I gritted through my teeth.

Silently she watched over my shoulder. "Your rerouting our antimatter recycling through the shield generators and configuring it to decay to a frequency of 9.72193… enough to reduce the acid to a p.H. of 7… stable…" she said slowly as she began to understand what I was doing.

"I'm bringing the modifications online, Tom. The shuttle might be upset by the graviton waves. Try to keep us as steady as possible," I advised.

"Will do," Tom replied.

The shields sputtered, and the shuttle lurched for a final time. I tapped the console to confirm that the shields were stable and holding.

I stepped out of the way and let B'Elanna take her console. With a sigh of relief, I sank back into the seat at the back of the shuttle. B'Elanna double-checked my work before she voiced her approval. "I'm going to plug the frequency into our scanners to compensate for the interference. You should be able to see farther out in front of you, Tom, in a second," She told us.

"Do it," I said immediately.

You could hear the succession of the tapping of buttons before Tom called out, "Ahh, that is much better, B'Elanna."

I stood up. "Do we still…"

All at once I was interrupted as the shuttle made another dangerous heave to the side. Straight away B'Elanna was giving us a report from her console.

"Cosmic dust is leaking through the sensor modifications Christy made," she announced.

"We just dropped out of warp," Tom shouted.

"The dust is clogging our nacelles," I told him. "B'Elanna, can you patch the holes?"

"I'm trying…" her voice trailed off. "Almost have it…"

The shuttle swayed again. "Done!" she exclaimed.

The shuttle steadied once again. "Our nacelles are still clogged, and I can't expel the gas…" Tom intoned.

"How fast can we go?" I asked him.

"I can give you three quarters impulse," he suggested.

"I'll take it. Give me a full sensor account, Tom," I replied.

Tom took in a deep breath. "We have a standard spiral galaxy with over 300 globular clusters that are distributed spherically about the center in a radius of 500 parsecs. There are eight planets here. I'm also detecting the composites of neutron stars and Q stars, and there is enough to support hundreds of singularities!" he exclaimed. "You need o take a look at this…"

I interfaced my console with his and looked at the readings. "They're a little sketchy, but I have to agree with you. There is enough material here to support hundreds of singularities. I'm also picking up a strange energy reading from the fifth planet."

"Yeah, me too," B'Elanna said perplexed.

I realized that she too had interfaced her console through Tom's. "Lay in a course for the planet, Tom," I told him after some thought. I turned to face B'Elanna. "Communication?" I asked hopefully.

She shook her head. "We've lost communication indefinitely. The foam's too thick- we'll never get any message out. It will take me hours to compensate."

"Is there anyway we could equip a probe with the shield modulations and get it to transmit a message to Voyager?"

B'Elanna raised her eyebrows. "I suppose I could reconfigure one. Give me a few minutes," she said as she went back to the cargo hold. I sat back down and looked up at Tom.

"I hope that was the worst of it," I said aloud.

Tom smiled. "The pressure of command getting to you?" he joked.

I gave him a large sweet smile as I sat back down again. "All I want to do right now is take a nap," I complained softly.

Abruptly a computer alarm went off. I jumped up to my console.

From his position at the front of the shuttle, I could hear him muttering under his breath. "And the nightmare from hell continues," he whispered just loud enough for me to hear.

"What's the matter?" B'Elanna asked as she rushed from the back.

"I'm reading massive amounts of gravitational redshifts off our port bow…" I said aloud.

Suddenly the shuttle rocked violently and there was a series of explosions. "We were hit by a massive energy discharge," B'Elanna announced. "Somebody's firing on us!"

"From where?" I snapped.

"I don't know… but I can't detect anything," she said as she trailed her voice off.

The ship rocked again. "Our shields are failing," B'Elanna announced.

"Fire phasors and torpedoes blindly, full spread," I commanded.

"No effect."

"They're hailing," Tom called to us.

"On screen," I decided hastily.

Immediately an image of a bulky tan alien flooded the screen. He had black beady eyes, and strong protruding spikes on his nose and forehead. "We are the Briikortian," he said haughtily. "Your shuttle will be captured and commandeered… Prepare to be boarded."

"I'm afraid not," I said as I hit the button to close the link. The shuttle rocked again.

"Shields down to 15% and failing," B'Elanna yelled.

"Keep them up!" I yelled as the alarm within me began to rise.

B'Elanna began to hit the buttons desperately. "I'm detecting an bionuclear surge within the neural circuitry. It's rerouting itself to the consoles. Everybody get away!" she yelled.

But I wasn't fast enough. Immediately I felt the burning pulse go up my arms and throughout my body. My legs instantaneously went limp and crumpled beneath me. "Tom," I said in distress as I fell towards the ground. The long fall was endless. I seemed to be falling and falling, and I wasn't sure if I would ever hit anything. But the sickening thud came, and a sharp pain went through my head. When I opened my eyes, I saw my auburn curls of hair resting on my shoulders and the comb that had held it up in a tight style a further distance away. Within seconds there was a pool of blood around me. "Tom," I weakly called again.

I felt a strong hand on my shoulder and the beeping sounds of a tricorder. "Her DNA is altering!" Tom shouted to B'Elanna. Suddenly I began to wretch. "She's going into synaptic shock and having seizures. There's severe trauma to her brain and nervous system!"

"Tom, I need you at the helm!" B'Elanna yelled.

The shuttle dangerously rocked again.

"Our shields our down! They're locking on a tractor beam," she yelled. "Transferring to auxiliary power…"

"B'Elanna," I called.

She heard her name and looked over to where I still laid on the floor.

"Fill the nacelles completely with cosmic dust, then expel them at a high rate all at once. Have Tom fire phasors on the concentrated cloud of particles. It will set off a series of explosions to disable the other ships." My breathing became more labored and I collapsed back onto the floor.

"It can work," B'Elanna shouted. "Tom, prepare to fire phasors at a large concentration of dust particles on my mark. Then get us out of here as fast as you can…"

I saw Tom weakly nod and gulp. "Collecting the particles… and expelling them," B'Elanna said aloud as a chain of explosions rocked the shuttle. Lock onto the target and fire phasors now!" she yelled.

"Firing phasors," Tom replied. "Getting us out of here, Warp 2…"

The explosions became more violent. "We just lost the starboard nacelle!" B'Elanna screamed. "The port nacelle is overloading!!"

Behind us, I could hear a large spatial explosion. "Looks like the enemy just exploded," Tom commented. "All I can see on sensors is bits of hull fragments."

The shuttle rocked again. "Our port nacelle is damaged beyond repair," B'Elanna announced.

"I can't slow us down!" Tom yelled back.

Eventually the turbulence began to quiet down, and B'Elanna checked sensors.

"We're stuck in a forward trajectory, and I can't stop us. See if you can find what's pushing us forward," Tom declared.

"There's nothing out there!" she exclaimed.

"I can't maneuver us anywhere… we're stuck going with whatever's pushing us. B'Elanna, see if you can get me thrusters."

"I can't, Tom. We completely lost our starboard nacelle, and the port nacelle has taken heavy damage. The warp engines and thrusters are inoperable without at least minimal nacelle cooperation," she replied in return.

"We'll have to ride this out then until we're rescued. I should have us stabilized enough; now we need to help Christy," Tom said as he flung himself to where I still laid. "B'Elanna, come over here to assist me."

I could hear here clambering to the back of the shuttle.

"Oh my God," B'Elanna shrieked suddenly. "Tom, look at how much blood she's lost, can you stop it?"

"I can try," Tom replied. "B'Elanna, see if you can replicate me a stimulant… we have to keep her awake if we want to save her," he said calmly. Gently he shook my shoulder. "Can you hear me?" he asked.

My vision was blurring, but I nodded. All I could see above me was a two-headed 'Paris' monster. "Tom," I whispered.

He let out a sigh of relief. "Do you know who she is?" he asked as he pointed at B'Elanna.

I nodded. "Lieutenant Torres," I said weakly.

Carefully he ran the dermal regenerator up and down the side of my head to heal the wound and stop the bleeding. "Tell me something about B'Elanna," he requested in attempt to keep me alert and conscious. B'Elanna came over with the hypospray and handed it to him. Gently he injected it into my neck.

"She's half Klingon," I said slowly.

Tom nodded. "Good, now tell me something about myself…"

"You're an overconfident jailbird," I said with a weak smile. Suddenly I winced and regretted trying to smile.

"Hey…" he protested lightly.

B'Elanna gave an impatient sigh. "This is getting nowhere," she said as she shook her head. "Christy," she said a little more forcefully, "what's the square root of two?" she challenged.

"1.4142135623730950488016887242097…" I said at a snail's pace.

"Well we haven't lost her yet," B'Elanna lightly joked. "I'm going to try to establish communication with Voyager."

Tom ran the tricorder over me again. "Christy," he began, "I'm not going to lie to you. You've lost a great deal of blood. I've taken care of most of your internal and external bleeding, but your DNA is progressively changing in all of your cells, and I have no idea why. I'm going to record both base nucleic sequences into this tricorder so when we get you back to Voyager the Doc can fix you up, but at the moment, I can't do anything for you but keep you stable and awake."

I bit my bottom lip and nodded like a frightened child. Tom's strong arms lifted me up off the floor and sat me in the back of the shuttle. "I want you to rest, Christy, but don't fall asleep… Do you understand?" he asked.

I could only nod.

"This is imperative to your life," he added morbidly. "Do not fall asleep."

I did my best to nod again.

From where B'Elanna stood, she was working fast and efficiently. "I'm transmitting out a distress call now. Voyager should be able to pick it up in a few minutes…"

Suddenly, I couldn't hear B'Elanna anymore and my distorted vision became worse. Although I was trying, it was becoming progressively harder to stay awake. My brain was screaming for sleep and rest. 

I could see my Father suddenly in my mind. His head was in his hands, and he was sobbing violently. "_Ich wußte, daß dieses würde geschehen… Meine arme Tochter…_ I knew this would happen… my poor daughter," he said to himself. I wanted to rush over to him and ask him why was he crying, but the image faded away and left me surrounded by a mob of angry people suddenly. "_Laborexperiment!_ Laboratory experiment!" the shouted.

The voices became louder and more violent. Sounds and memories that resounded in my head became chaotic.

__

Kind der Nacht… Child of the Night… that phrase flooded my mind out of the blue. I could hear my Father singing the exact lullaby I had sung to Naomi. His voice was soothing, and a half step flat, just like normal. But the words became softer and softer and finally the screaming enraged voices made me completely lose track of the melody. It was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe, and I wanted to call out to Tom and B'Elanna for their help, but I couldn't move. I suddenly couldn't move my arms or my legs. I could not move my face or my mouth. I couldn't concentrate on the right words. I was so tired, so sleepy. It was becoming darker and darker… the loud screaming memories in my mind threatened to tear me apart.

Suddenly I couldn't think anymore and everything shut down. "Christy!!" was the last thing I heard.

****

To be continued…


	6. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 6

****

Author: Christy Anderson

You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson, Tre'kent, and a few selected insignificant characters.

The away mission was destined to be a tremendous disaster. Is the shuttle crew prepared for it to get worse?

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 6

An electronic two-tone beep sounded. "The Comm system is not functional," an impassive voice informed.

"Clarify!" a voice screamed angrily.

Inwardly I flinched, trying to place whom I was listening to. The immediate room seemed to be darkened, or perhaps it was my perspective. I desperately tried to remember where I was, but strangely, I could not. All around the room were millions of shadows, black shadows that hazily moved back and forth. I felt feverish, and my head seemed to be pounding. It was difficult to move my legs and my arms, and for seconds I believed I was restrained.

The computer beeped again. "The subspace transmitter is fused."

A pain shot through my head and I wanted to scream out in pain. As the pain began to subside, I puzzled at my revelation. What was the computer? These beeps and voices were sounds that I could not recognize, sounds that I had not ever heard before. Where was I? Perhaps I was in the lab with Father, but my surroundings proved otherwise.

I heard a woman begin to curse. "Computer," she commanded, "reroute the signal through the main deflector."

The same noise beeped again. "Affirmative. Communication is now operational."

I heard a sigh. "Begin sending out a distress signal to Voyager."

The sound of footsteps approached me and the graying shadows that surrounded me were shifting again. "How is she?" the woman's voice asked.

I heard another sigh; this time the sound was closer to me. "No change…" a man's voice trailed off. Suddenly I could feel a hand upon my shoulders. I wanted to sit up, but I could not move. What had scared me more was the cold fact that I couldn't see anybody. "I've been trying to remove some of the security authorizations to view her medical file. I thought that it might contain something useful. Up to helping me?"

"There's nothing else to do…" she paused. I heard vigorous tapping and subsequent beeps. "That should do it, Tom," she said after awhile.

"How did you do that so fast, B'Elanna?" the man's voice asked.

Tom? B'Elanna? Who were they? The shadows of the room began to lighten and take forms. I could see blonde haired man and a woman with deep ridges on her forehead. Silently, I wondered who these strange people were. Once again I asked myself, 'Where am I? Why could I not remember?'

The voices grew silent for what seemed an immeasurable amount of time. Finally Tom spoke up. "B'Elanna, take a look at this. It seems to be a medical entry from six years ago…"

"What?" she asked. "How is that possible? I thought Starfleet only began to record a person's medical history when they began their Starfleet career. Certainly she wasn't part of Starfleet when she was twelve!"

"That's normally the circumstances. But take a look at this too! There's medical files all the way from her birth… and it looks like they are encoded."

I heard some more tapping. "This doesn't make any sense. You have to be right Tom," she said. Suddenly an alarm went off.

"The Comm system is offline," the metallic voice informed the two people.

"Why?" B'Elanna screamed. "This is the seventh time!" she added.

"I'll come over to help you," Tom volunteered.

Suddenly the sound of static filled the room, and I desperately wanted to protect my ears from the loud sound. But I couldn't concentrate correctly and my mind was so blurred.

Finally the sound of a second woman's voice flooded over the static. "…oyager to the Away Team. Do you read? Voyager to the Away Team; do you read?" she asked.

"Loud and Clear," B'Elanna answered.

A shot of pain went through my head as I realized that I knew that first voice. It was the voice that I had come to know since we were hauled into the Delta Quadrant. Surprisingly, I unexpectedly remembered where I was, and I now recognized my companions.

"Captain?" I whispered hoarsely.

"Christy?" Tom asked as he ran back over to me.

"How long have I been out?" I whispered. My voice was barely audible.

"Ten hours," Tom whispered in my ear.

"Christy? Tom?" the Captain asked in confusion over the Comm.

Quickly Tom put a comforting hand on my shoulder and grabbed a hypospray with his other. "This won't hurt a bit," he whispered as he injected the compound into my neck.

"Lieutenant Torres," the Captain addressed. "Report on your position."

"We've lost our starboard nacelle, Captain, and the port nacelle has taken heavy damage. We were attacked by an alien race and sustained heavy damage. We're stuck in forward trajectory, and Ensign Anderson was critically injured in the attack. She was hit by some sort of bionuclear pulse. We need assistance."

There was a pause at the other end of the connection. "Noted," the Captain said after a time, "We've been trying to come after you, but we need the shield frequencies. Can you give them to us?"

B'Elanna nodded. "Of course, Captain. The frequency is Beta Decay 9…"

A deafening alarm interrupted B'Elanna. Desperately she leaped back over to her console. Angrily she cursed under her breath. "The Comm system is down again!" she yelled. "I think it's being affected by a dampening field…"

The shuttle dangerously lurched abruptly. Tom left from my side and activated my console that was just above him. "B'Elanna," he called to her, "I'm reading massive graviton fluctuations off of our starboard bow. I think it could be a Briikortian ship."

"I see it too," she replied softly. "Source- Spatial grid 5.4; distance- 8 light years and closing…"

"Raising shields," Tom said immediately. "And charging weapons," he added.

Instantaneously the shuttle rocked again. "Direct hit to our communications array," B'Elanna announced dismayed.

The shuttlecraft swerved again. "Firing phasors," Tom shouted.

I felt hopeless as I lied still on the floor. Painfully I attempted to sit up and looked for the easiest thing to grab on to for support. Unfortunately it was six more inches above me. With a voracious spirit I encouraged myself on, trying to keep my concentration over all of the screaming, yelling, and general confusion. Gratefully my hand grasped onto the object just before the shuttle was hit again. Slowly I hoisted myself up and began to tap on the controls.

I kept my focus on scanning the other ship, because I knew we wouldn't last much longer. Three more commands, and I was able to view and control the manual launch mechanism for the torpedoes. I locked on to their shield matrix and fired one charge after another. Tom turned around in the nick of time to catch me. "What do you think you are doing, Christy?" he asked crossly.

From her console, B'Elanna's worried face began to relax slightly. "The ship's shields are down, but they're still firing."

Tom let me go and turned back around. "Locking onto their weapons array and firing," he announced. I turned back to the console and began to penetrate the alien vessel's hull. I gave the last two commands and the computer began to download the alien's database. As I hit the last button, I sank back down in exhaustion.

However, B'Elanna and Tom were still hard at work. "Those last hits had no effect. They're locking on a tractor beam!" Tom yelled.

"I'm creating a feedback loop; we should be free in another few seconds…" B'Elanna replied.

"Firing phasors… direct hit to their weapons array," Tom said from above me.

"They're hailing," B'Elanna announced. She exchanged looks with Tom who slowly nodded. With a small command, B'Elanna activated the view screen.

The face of an ugly alien filled the screen. "You are badly damaged," he growled.

"Hello to you to," Tom replied sarcastically.

The shady alien wasted no time getting down to business. "I want to speak with the one in charge," he snarled menacingly.

Tom struck a defensive stance. "I'm the one in charge," he said as he crossed his arms.

The alien stared at him, obviously distrustful of every word that Tom had said. He burst out into threatening laughter. "No, I want to speak with your commanding officer," he barked again.

Tom gave him an innocent look. "I'm Lieutenant Paris, and this is Lieutenant Torres. We both share the same rank. So, I suppose you could pick whose the commanding officer. Then again, if it's an Engineering sort of problem, you'll have to talk to Lieutenant Torres, because she outranks me in those kinds of matters. However, at the moment, I outrank her in almost everything else."

As soon the words came out of his mouth, B'Elanna shot him a dirty look. On the viewscreen, the alien did not seem too charmed by Tom's words either. "I want to speak with the young one!" he sneered portentously.

Instantly, I crouched down to where the alien could not see me, but still where I could keep an eye on Tom and B'Elanna.

"You mean B'Elanna?" Tom asked with false confusion.

"No!" he yelled impatiently. "The young girl in charge, Christy Anderson!"

I gulped when I heard my name. How did he know such a thing?

Yet Tom's firm expression never wavered. "I'm afraid to inform you that Ensign Anderson is unable to speak with you. Your species first attack on us injured her critically. Until she recovers, I am in command here, and you will speak with me."

The alien's face contorted to a disgusted look. "I will not be persuaded. I must talk to her!"

"I'm afraid that's not possible," B'Elanna suddenly interjected. She was becoming increasingly irritated at the alien's brusque attitude.

The alien's dark beady eyes lit up with fiery passion. "I'll be blunt. I know that within three hours, your power supply will be completely drained and your shields will fail. You'll die. I also know that three more shots from my weapons array will take your life support offline, and the process of your death will be sped up. Communication is offline, sensors are at 9%, you've lost both nacelles, Warp Drive is down, shuttle maneuverability is impossible, inertial dampers are offline, impulse engines are damaged beyond repair, thrusters are inoperable, your shields are at 57%, and hull integrity is at 43%."

Halfway through the alien's list of damaged systems, B'Elanna exploded. "How the hell do you know that?!" she challenged.

The alien put on a sly smile. "I have my means… but it doesn't matter. I can help you, or destroy you. It is your choice, Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris."

B'Elanna's face visibly paled when the alien fired off Tom's full rank and name. However, Tom fought to keep his strong image. "And what's in it for you?" he asked cynically.

The alien shrugged. "I want Christy," he said simply.

I shrunk back farther in disgust. If I hadn't been so weak I would have slapped the alien so hard. What right did he have to bargain for my future?

Tom gagged. "Do you honestly believe that we trade crewmen like property? I'm sorry, but that's out of the question. I think we can handle anything that you throw at us. This conversation is terminated." Tom moved his hand to hit the button on his console.

"You can't save her," the alien taunted.

Tom looked up in disbelief. "Excuse me?" he asked as he raised his eyebrows.

"By our calculations, we know that she'll die within five hours. You can't save her. You don't have the training, Thomas; you're playing out of your league. She's no asset to you if she's dead, might as well give her to us to save your own skin."

"I'm afraid that you are very wrong. Try recalculating your assumptions," Tom said as he gave the alien one last glance.

The alien, sensing that he was losing the battle, made a last desperate attempt. "Captain Janeway isn't coming. Voyager isn't coming. The Doc can't bail you out of this one…"

Tom hit the button. "I've heard enough," he muttered under his breath. "B'Elanna, divert all the power you can to the shields. I'm afraid we're in for a bumpy ride," he commanded as he went hard to work.

"Tom," B'Elanna called. "They're not charging weapons. Instead, they're sending out a transporter beam, and it's passing through our shields!" she yelled. "They've locked onto Christy!"

I felt a transporter beam sweep me away and off the shuttle. I rematerialized on the alien ship, several different aliens waiting over me with strange instruments. I let out a weakened scream as another transporter beam locked onto me and brought me back to the shuttle.

I sighed and took in a deep breath. However another beam whisked me away again, and I looked up to see the same daunting aliens standing over me. One wasted no time and shoved his two-pronged instrument into my neck. I let out a small yelp as I felt an unbearable pain sear through my body. The alien, who looked older and wrinkled, grunted as he shoved the instrument farther into my neck. With a flick of his wrist he withdrew it as quick as that, and commenced reading something off of it in a foreign language. I could feel warm blood trickle down my neck.

Another dark alien approached, and I prepared myself for the worst. As he drew closer, I felt a tingling sensation as I dematerialized and reappeared on the shuttlecraft.

Tom was waiting for me, and as soon as I materialized again, he forced a strange looking object behind my ear. It did not hurt at first, but within seconds I was writhing with extreme head pain. Tom knelt down sympathetically. "I know it hurts, but it will keep you on the shuttle," he whispered in my ear. I nodded as a small moan escaped from my lips.

"Tom," B'Elanna commanded, "Get to tactical. They enemy ship is charging weapons!"

Tom stood up and scurried to his console. I still sat on the floor, my head pounding. Waves of nausea were overcoming, and I fought very hard to resist the urge to throw up. I was shaking, and it was hard to raise my lungs to breathe. I couldn't think straight, and I was disconcerted. There was only one thought in my mind that was clear- we were not going to survive.

I shivered and inconspicuously lifted myself off the floor. My legs were weak and I grabbed onto the console for support. I tapped silently a few times to see which of the shuttle's systems were still operational. I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw the phasor banks were still fully charged. I stopped for a brief moment to think about what I was going to do next. I glanced around the shuttle. To my right was the containment module, filled with the sample of the quantum foam. I noticed how it bubbled with acidity. I remembered an old trick my father had taught me- baking soda and vinegar. The foam acted like the baking soda, the phasor banks needed to act like the vinegar. I put in six commands and hit the button to fire. The shuttle rocked slightly, as the image of the ship on the viewscreen burst into flames. I felt my knees buckle under me again and flailed my arms out to catch something on the way down to the ground.

Tom heard the crash and ran to the back. "What was that?" he asked.

"An old trick I'll show you one day," I gasped between breaths. He laid me back out on the floor and propped me up against a console.

"Just try to rest," he suggested. "Voyager will come."

I shook my head forcefully. "Hand me that PADD," I demanded as I pointed to the PADD that was still interfaced with the computer. Tom looked over it and smiled.

"Their database?" he questioned. I shrugged.

"It might give us some answers."

He looked skeptical. "Definitely not light reading for a sick patient."

I snatched it out of his hands. "It's all I can do…"

B'Elanna came over and stood behind Tom. "There's no use in making any repairs…" she began.

"I know, too much is damaged," he said as he cut her off.

"We only have 24% of our power reserves left, so I'm going to put us in Gray mode."

Tom nodded nonchalantly as he sat down beside me. I heard a few beeps before B'Elanna came back and sat across from us. Immediately I shivered as the temperature and the lighting dropped in the cabin. B'Elanna pulled off her jacket and put it around my shoulders. "Here," she said gently, "You need to stay warm." She turned away and nodded off within seconds.

I gave her a look of thanks and went back down to reading the PADD. For a while Tom read the text over my shoulder, but within minutes I heard him snoring. I seized the moment of silence to read harder, convinced that I would find something interesting.

The minutes turned into uneventful hours before I finally turned and hit Tom. "Wake up!" I yelled hoarsely.

His eyes opened into slits, and went to close again. This time I hit him harder as I showed him what I had found. "What is it, Christy?" he asked sleepily.

"Dark Matter!" I yelled.

****

To be continued…


	7. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 7

****

Author: Christy Anderson

You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson, Tre'kent, and a few selected insignificant characters.

An apology goes out to all for the amount of time it took me to finish this, sorry I left you hanging with the corny phrase Dark Matter. Perhaps this will explain a little bit more.

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 7

The shuttle that had once been deadly silent now gleamed in brilliant light. B'Elanna moved back and forth from the cargo hold that was filled with salvaged parts from the alien ships that had blown apart. B'Elanna, now covered with grease and slime, began to bring the 'new' sensors back online. "Thank goodness we were able to boost our transporter beams," she said softly. From where I sat in the back and watched the scene before me, I nodded.

Two hours ago, I had discovered in the transcript of the alien ship's database that they were able to manipulate Dark Matter and harness its energy to do work. One of the many jobs listed was capturing other ships. They would disable a ship's propulsion systems and then use Dark Matter to propel it into a singularity. According to their database, the millions of wormholes were in various stages of decay. No matter where they led, all of them at least traveled back in time two hundred years. Some of the larger ones, it noted, went back thousands to millions of years. With a half smile, I thought about how disappointed the Captain would be.

From his console, Tom fervently worked to get the makeshift thrusters back online. "It's just like a spider's web," he commented loud enough for all of us to hear.

Inwardly, I laughed at the comparison, knowing that our predicament was not funny at all. These wormholes would have subspace barriers that obstructed a clear path through. Most large objects, even shuttlecrafts, would be trapped within the middle, unable to go through, and unable to get out. Apparently, the Briikortian owned a technology that retrieved ships from this 'spider's web'. The ships that they retrieved were salvaged for parts, and the crews either ended up as food or slaves. The Briikortian were cannibals.

When I had discovered this, B'Elanna had come up with an idea to divert all of our remaining power to the transporter systems, hoping that there might be something useful left among the debris. Like she suspected, we were able to retrieve valuable and intact components from the two ships that I had 'blown up'. With these parts, B'Elanna and Tom were able to boost our energy reserves, put together a simplified propulsion system, and restore our damaged sensors. We were all hoping that with these additions we could find a way out of the Dark Matter trap before we reached the singularity. A few more minutes, I noticed, and they would both be finished.

Tom clinked away at the propulsion console. "I'm almost ready, B'Elanna," he announced. He walked over to the back of the shuttle and stood beside her. "How are you coming?" he asked.

"A few more minutes should do it," she said without looking up from the console.

Tom shot her an encouraging look as he turned around and walked over to where I sat. He pulled out a medical tricorder and ran it over me a few times. "How are you feeling?" he asked gently.

I tried to give him a weak smile, yet I could barely turn my head to look at him. "How many more hours do I have?" I asked him directly.

Tom gave me a look of fake disbelief. "What are you taking about?" he asked in an attempt to alleviate my fears as well as his own.

"You're a very bad liar, Tom Paris," I said hoarsely.

His face became serious. "I don't know," he whispered. "I don't understand your condition. Just keep holding on until Voyager get here."

I opened my mouth to say something but collapsed back in exhaustion. I felt so helpless and useless. Tom reached out to put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You're running a fever," he said as he helped me take off my jacket. "Just rest," he whispered.

From where B'Elanna was working, she called back to Tom. "I'm ready to bring everything back online. Let's start with the thrusters," she suggested. Tom hurried back to the front of the shuttle.

He tapped the console a few times. "Thrusters online. Changing course to a heading of 08 mark 45 at three quarters impulse." The shuttle shuddered forward for a few seconds. Suddenly it collided with something and was shoved backwards.

"What the hell was that?" B'Elanna yelled. "Bringing sensors online…" her voice trailed off. "I don't understand this. I can't get a clear reading. I'm recalibrating now and trying again…" her voice trailed off again. Abruptly she pounded a fist down at the console and cursed under her breath. "The readings are scrambled. I can't tell you what's out there. However, I'm reading massive amounts of graviton energy."

I thought about the readings and called over to B'Elanna. "It's Dark Matter," I managed to say barely above a whisper. She stared at me strangely.

Silently she pondered what I had told her. "It would make sense," she began. "They're surrounding us," she speculated, "cutting off every means of escape."

Tom turned around and caught on to her drift. "If that's the case, if we then modify a photon torpedo to emit tachyon energy every time it collides with something instead of detonating, we should get a clear picture of what the surrounding web looks like."

I nodded. "And if it doesn't hit anything…"

"We follow it out," B'Elanna interrupted. "I'm on it now."

I sat and leaned my head back against the bulkhead. My headache was growing larger and the pain echoed throughout my head. It was becoming increasingly hard to stay conscious, and I had this overwhelming desire to close my eyes- just for a moment. My vision was blurring, again. There were voices in my head, and flashbacks to times and events that I had no recollection of. All in all, I tried to keep my focus on the present, in the shuttlecraft. If my friends ever needed me, it was now. We had to get out of here alive. I silently prayed that this would work.

"Launching the torpedo," B'Elanna broadcasted. I could hear the torpedo as it collided with the surrounding Dark Matter and reflected back off of us. "I'm getting clear readings of the explosions." I looked over at her console that displayed the web of Dark Matter that surrounded us on all sides.

"We've just lost the torpedo! It left at a heading of .09 bearing mark 6.7!" she screamed.

"Laying in the course," Tom announced. "Full power to the thrusters!"

"It's working," B'Elanna cried, her voice saturated with astonishment. "I'm getting clear sensor readings."

An automated alarm went off. Tom spun around, his face full fear. "What's that?" he asked, the panic rising in his voice.

"The singularity is off our port bow. We're being pulled into the event horizon."

I couldn't take it anymore. Slowly I concentrated all of my energy to moving over to my console. I managed to stand up and tumbled onto it. Painfully I forced myself up and activated my console. "I'm reading two Briikortian ships ready for intercept," I stated faintly. I forced myself to work and launched a highly concentrated phasor beam at a large collection of cosmic dust particles. There was an immediate redox reaction and I plunged backwards. My head struck the bulkhead behind me, and B'Elanna rushed over. "What do you think you're doing?" she yelled in disbelief as she helped me back to where I had been sitting. "Just, rest, Christy. We can handle it from here."

"The two ships are disabled, B'Elanna. They're retreating, but I can't get us away from the event horizon. The explosions are pulling us in towards the singularity."

B'Elanna jumped up to my console. "I'm diverting all available power."

Another automated alarm went off, and the klaxons were ringing wildly in my ears. "It's no use. We're being pulled in at a greater rate!" Tom yelled over all of the noise.

The shuttle rocked violently, and my head brutally struck another bulkhead. The pain seared through my body as everything became dark.

I tossed and turned a few times before I was able to open my eyes. The shuttle was dark now and the red lights flashed on and off. I could see Tom sitting beside me, holding my hand tight. B'Elanna was curled up next to him like a small child. A chilling sensation flooded over me as I realized how much this was like my nightmare about the other ship. I shook my head. I am not going to die, I told myself with determination. Tom stirred and glanced over at me. "Christy! Thank God! You've gained consciousness!"

B'Elanna woke up with a jolt. She let out a heavy sigh of relief as she noticed I was awake.

"How long have I been out?" I asked as a wave of pain flamed through my mind.

"Two hours, give or take," Tom said impassively.

"Where are we?" I asked softly.

"Inside the singularity," he answered.

"We're stuck," B'Elanna chimed in. "We've wiped out half of our power reserves trying to get out. The gravity field is too strong… we'll never make it."

I fell back into silence, slowly processing the information they had given me. A threatening thought popped into my mind. "What about the Briikortian?" I asked breathlessly.

Tom shrugged. "We can't get any clear readings from the sensors inside here."

I gulped as I worked up the courage to ask my remaining question. "How long…?" I began.

"Six hours before our hull breaches," Tom answered knowingly. Even in the dim lit cabin, I could see the lone tear slip down B'Elanna's cheek as he said that.

I could feel my own tears welling up behind my eyes. It was times like this when people realized that there were so many more years to live, things to discover and accomplish, so many more things to do. My guard slipped, and I let out a small sob. My entire chest began to shudder with my oncoming sobs. One after the other, the hot tears fell down my cheeks. Tom put his arms around me and gave me a hug. "There's no need to cry," he whispered.

My chest began to ache, and my labored breathing grew worse. The pain stopped the tears cold in their tracks. Tom back away and tilted my face up to his. He gave me a questioning look. "How's the pain?" he asked as he pulled out the tricorder. His face was grim as he read the readings.

"What's wrong?" I asked without hesitation.

"There's severe stress building up along your primary nerve. It's almost reached critical."

"And when it does?" I asked quietly.

"It'll kill you," he answered in precisely measured words. The air became thick with the silence and tension. Two more tears slipped down B'Elanna's cheek.

"We're all going to die," she whispered hauntingly. I felt a bead of sweat trickle down my back. The air in the shuttle was uncomfortably warm and humid.

No one spoke a word. We all continued to shift our gazes around to different points on the floor, and on the ceiling. The shuttle intermittently rocked powerfully. "Turbulence," Tom muttered.

O how I wished it was turbulence! All I could imagine was the forces of gravity slowly crushing us. We had all been through the worst of times just to come to an agonizing end. The cynicism of that statement thrashed through me like a knife. Why couldn't I pull off a miraculous escape now? None of my life's work was worth anything to me if I couldn't save myself. Tre'kent, Naomi, Samantha, my father… so many people to live for. There were too many things that I could have done. If only, … if only, … if only.

From beside me, Tom exhaled a large sigh. "So what do you plan to do if we get back B'Elanna?" he asked softly.

"I would to finish the warp core diagnostics," she said slowly.

Tom shot her an irritated look. "Really, B'Elanna. If you can't be honest at your death, you have nothing to live for."

"What's that supposed to mean?" B'Elanna shot back defensively.

"You've been avoiding me since the day we met. Don't you even regret that we haven't even become friends?" he asked angrily.

"The day I regret that, Paris, I'll be dead," she said seriously.

Tom laughed. "Well at least it was worth a try." The shuttle dramatically shifted again. "So what about you, Christy?"

I thought about it silently for a while before I opened my mouth to speak. "I'd appreciate all that life has offered me. I'd get home to tell my Father and my Mother that I loved them. I'd tell Tre'kent how much he's meant to me. I'd… I'd…" the words came tumbling out one after the other with great speed. A few more tears ran down my cheeks.

I fell silent and shut my eyes. "What about you, Tom?" I asked hoarsely as I tried to calm my increasing anxiety.

"I guess… that…I'd reconcile my differences with my Dad," he said hesitantly.

His words helped seal the quiet atmosphere. Occasionally the sound of B'Elanna's muffled sobs would reach my ears, and my heart broke for all of us.

"No one will ever know how we died," she whispered.

I scoffed silently. I should have been prepared for this. I had dreamed about these moments every night for weeks. Still there was something left in the back of my mind, stubborn determination. I could not give up. I was not going to end it all right here, right now. I struggled to my feet, but fell backwards because I did not have any more strength left. Stubbornly I tried again and again. I was going to make it. Tom stared at my strange actions with curiosity.

"What are you doing?" he asked finally.

"I'm not sure," I admitted roughly as I pushed myself up with the last ounce of my strength. This time, I was rewarded by tumbling forward onto my knees and having my face slap the ground hard. Tom and B'Elanna rushed over and helped me to my feet.

"Are you feeling all right?" Tom asked.

I nodded and lifted my arm to point over to my console. "Take me over there," I commanded feebly.

Tom and B'Elanna hobbled me over to my console. I put my arms out in front to brace myself. Slowly they backed away and allowed me to balance myself on the console. I activated the console with the tap of a button and surveyed the remnants of our arsenal. Not finding anything of value, I sifted through the list of damaged shuttle systems. Still, everything seemed to be on its last leg. I searched my mind for anything that I could use to get us out of here. Inaudibly, I muttered under my breath. Nothing was coming to my rescue. A wave of pain went through my brain, and unconsciously I almost lifted my hand to grab the side of my head.

Inwardly I winced and tried to hold back the tears of pain. Suddenly a piece of text caught my eye- three multispatial probes. I began to tap the console to prepare one for launch. Tom, who was watching me over my shoulder, finally spoke up. "What are you doing, Christy?" he asked.

"Launching a probe," I informed him.

Tom's face showed genuine concern. "Christy, it's no use. The gravity field is too strong. The probe will be crushed within minutes."

"I know," I gritted through my teeth, "but it's small enough to go through to the other side of the wormhole."

B'Elanna came over and grabbed my arm. "Christy, there's nobody on the other side to help. When you were still unconscious, we scanned the singularity. It leads to the Beta Quadrant… seven hundred years before Voyager was ever launched."

"All the more reason to launch it," I replied as I thought about the Captain's overpowering desire to get us home.

B'Elanna squeezed her hand tighter around my arm. "And what do you plan to do?" she asked downheartedly.

"I'm sending out a warning to Starfleet. Telling them to never launch Voyager. In a few moments, we can all wake up in our beds at home. None of this would have ever happened," I responded, frantically trying to force back the tears that were welling up behind my eyes.

B'Elanna gave me a long intense stare. "Do you believe that I want to wake up as a Maquis tomorrow?" she whispered hauntingly. She paused until she was certain that her words had sunk in. Silently she turned her face away. "I don't care if I die here, Christy, but I've had it better on Voyager than I would have ever had it in the Alpha Quadrant."

Tom came up from behind her and put an arm on my shoulder to stop me from hitting the last button. "I don't wish to wake up in jail either, Christy. I was given a second chance, and all that might change as soon as you hit this button… I've become a different person, and I do not ever want to see that other Tom Paris again…" his voice trailed off as the hand on my arm became heavier. Their words were tormenting and insentience I inched my hand away from the button. "Just think about how far you have come, Christy. You are not the same person you were when you came onto Voyager. You've discovered what you can achieve; you've seen the other side of Starfleet. You would be erasing all of that as well. Think about the others, Tre'kent…, and Kes …, and Neelix… You would dramatically change all of their lives. Are you sure you want to do that?"

I withdrew my hand farther away from the button in disgust. I couldn't do it… I couldn't bring myself to hurt so many innocents. All I could think of were the countless number of lives I would change as soon as I hit that button. I felt nauseated and collapsed down in a heap of misery. The tears poured from my eyes and I started to scream in German. Why did it all have to end this way? _Ich bin nicht evincißle, dort bin immer ein Punkt des Todes, von an überschreiten. Weil zu allen Sachen, gibt es ein Ende… _I am not invincible; there will always be a point of death, of passing on. Because to all things, there is an end…

B'Elanna came over to help sit me up and to comfort me. I could see the tearstains that ran down her cheeks. "Voyager will come," she promised.

We all sat back in a circle in silence. By now, the pain in my head was fading away, but that fact frightened me all the more. I could see almost see Tuvok in the corner of the shuttle advising me. "In accepting the inevitable, we find peace." Yet this situation was different, and I was not able to accept the fact that my life ended here. _Ich möchte nicht sterben… _I do not want to die…

The shuttle seemed to be more dimly lit, and B'Elanna had tried her best to adjust the atmospheric controls to keep us comfortable. Yet as I looked around we were still all sweating. Finally B'Elanna spoke up. "If we get out of this, Christy," she began, " I want you on my Engineering team."

I almost gagged. "B'Elanna?" I questioned as I raised my eyebrows.

She smiled peacefully. "You disabled four Briikortian ships, helped design a stable shield matrix, and downloaded the alien database… You've help pull us through most of this mission. And maybe, you don't know it, but you'd make a great engineer."

"Thanks," I whispered gratefully.

B'Elanna turned her head to Tom, her eyes glistening with tears. "And if we get out of this, Paris, I promise I'll spend more time getting to know you," B'Elanna said as she placed her head on his shoulder. Her vulnerability shone through her hard exterior, just like it was in my dream… my dream…

I thought back to the PADD that still sat in my quarters, the PADD that Harry had carried across the bridge between the two ships before the other Voyager had exploded. It was all that I had left of the other Christy's short-lived life, yet it was a small piece of evidence. What would be left to prove that I had once lived beside the memories that other people would carry with them? A small seed of a brilliant idea began to grow in my mind. "Our last words," I murmured. 

B'Elanna shot straight up. "What?" she asked in puzzlement.

"I'm launching that probe," I said as I made an attempt to get on my feet.

"What?" Tom repeated in disbelief.

"We should have some record of our lives…" I said softly.

B'Elanna shook her head. "We can't send out a warning, Christy," she cautioned.

"You're right," I quipped, "but we can send our a quote, our last words."

My two companions were silent for a while. "A quote?" Tom asked.

"What would we say?" B'Elanna asked curiously.

We discussed the idea for a few minutes, weighing the pros and cons. Tom checked the database to confirm that it was most likely that no one would discover the probe until forty years before Voyager was launched. However, it was practical to assume that whenever Voyager was able to enter the nebula and the quantum foam, they would pick up the automated distress call from the other side of the wormhole. If only for this very purpose, they could download our last words and match our initials to our face. We could offer a befitting end to our careers.

Each of us was strangely comforted by the fact that even if we did die, we would have left a legacy behind us. The idea, that most normally would have seemed absurd, was now the most inviting option. An open debate arose to decide what we should say. Finally, together, we wrote what seemed like a positive and inspiring quote. One that could help our friends and dear ones left on Earth move on with their lives. It was an anonymous vote that I should be the one to record the message.

From the corner of my eye, I saw B'Elanna tapping away at her console, signaling me with an acute nod. I cleared my throat and wiped the tears from my eyes, trying to be brave. With a quiver in my voice I started uncertainly. "To seek out new worlds, to investigate new cultures, to explore the expanse of space, to be led by the stars in search of home— the deep conviction of true Voyagers. L.T.P., L.B.T., E.C.A."

B'Elanna hit a button to stop recording. "Launching probe," she informed us all faintly. Tom helped me back down to sitting on the floor and pulled out his medical tricorder. "Feeling better?" he asked.

I nodded. "I can't feel the pain anymore," I admitted. "I'm so scared."

"It'll be all right. Even Einstein couldn't get us out of this one," Tom offered.

Something in my mind snapped. "What did you say?" I asked swiftly.

Tom furrowed his eyebrows. "Even Einstein couldn't get us out of this one," he repeated in puzzlement.

"Get my bag over there!" I commanded breathlessly. Tom obeyed and placed the bag in my lap. I recklessly searched through the bag for the PADD that I had used to download all sorts of information from Voyager's database. I found the PADD and began to scroll down to a selection on the Theory of Relativity by Albert Einstein.

B'Elanna came over to see what the fuss was all about. "The Theory of Relativity," she read over my shoulders. "What's this?" she asked.

"It might be our salvation…" I replied as I scrolled down to the calculations. Quickly I read it over again, to make sure that I had missed not even one single character of information. Satisfied, I looked up into their questioning faces and began to explain. "Einstein stated that a person on earth never returned to the same point in space from year to year. He could return to the same coordinates, but it would be exactly one year later. He then began to explain time as the fourth dimension. He speculated on the possibility of time travel, and in theory, it worked."

B'Elanna leaned in closer, completely engrossed in what I was saying. I shook my head as I looked over the calculations. This had to get us out of here. I took a deep breath and delivered the bad news. "The mathematics was flawless, only there was an unknown variable that Einstein could never define. To make time travel work, you had to add in an extra variable. As our knowledge about space and black holes grew, people added onto his theory. One of the most well known additions was the antigravity field. A scientist speculated, that if a person wanted to live going through a wormhole, he needed an antigravity field to prevent being crushed. But all these additions were added around the extra variable! Eventually they were discarded and Starfleet came up with high powered thrusters, impulse engines, and warp drives to survive going through wormholes."

"But we don't have that now!" Tom interrupted.

"Which leaves us back at square one with only antigravity to save us!" B'Elanna piped in. "If we could successfully create an antigravity field around the ship, the we could propel ourselves out of here."

"But we need to define the extra variable," I reminded her.

"That should be easy," Tom volunteered, "we have thousands of more elements than they had in their day."

B'Elanna's eyes lit up at the challenge. "Let me see the calculations," she requested. I handed her the PADD and watched her face as she studied it. "As I understand it, X wasn't one thing, but many things that behaved in different ways," she said. I nodded.

"It seems that way," I replied.

"Let's see…" her voice trailed off. "As we add the uranium and the plutonium together, we create a compound that doubles the attraction of gravity. If we add dilithium as the X, we can create a field that doubles the disattraction of gravity. Now, if we add in the helium, we've counteracted all of the other calculations, and we've repelled all gravity up to 80%." Tom grabbed the PADD from her hands.

"If we constantly add small quantities of beryllium from our shield matrix, then we should boost the percentage up to 100 and be able to propel ourselves out!" he yelled. "Let's get started…"

The two of them sprang up and began to work. From the front of the shuttle Tom boosted the illumination of the cabin to full. "Our power reserves are almost gone, B'Elanna," he announced. "If this is going to work, we're going to have to give it every last ounce of power we have, even life support."

B'Elanna's face barely flinched as she nodded. "Let's hope Voyager is in the vicinity," she said wistfully.

I blinked my eyes a few times, the desire to rest more overpowering than ever. I had to keep awake for a few more minutes, just a few more. I knew that falling asleep could be fatal, but I was very unsure of how long I could maintain my self-discipline. Frantically concerned that I wouldn't be conscious in a few moments, I motioned B'Elanna over. "The beryllium will make our shield configuration unstable," I divulged. "You'll have to control it manually."

I looked up at her in desperation. She gave me a confident nod before she silently went back to work. Without anything left to do I rested my head back and shut my eyes. The voices and frightening events that had played through my mind before weren't there anymore. I couldn't feel the pain, and I couldn't move. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. My thoughts were chaotic and my heart was beating faster and faster. And then there was peace, a very soothing peace.

I let myself fall into that peace faster and faster until there was the calming silence. So this was what it was like to die…, I mused. **Christy? **a voice called. I pulled back from the peace. I knew that voice; it was Tre'kent. **Hold on… **the voice encouraged. **We're coming for you. **His voice pulled me from the oncoming envelope of peace. I pulled away harder and harder. I had to get to the surface… I was suffocating… I couldn't breathe! I was being smothered! **Just hold on…** the voice coaxed. I rebuked myself and pulled away harder and harder from the oncoming peace. I needed air! Finally my instincts kicked in.

****

The shield modulation is 9.72193! I screamed. **9.72193… 9.72193… 9.72193… 9.72193…9.72193…**

I couldn't breathe anymore. I couldn't think. Everything was slowing down, slowing down, growing darker, and darker. What lied at the end? There was nothing…

****

To be continued…


	8. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 8

****

Author: Christy Anderson

You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson, Tre'kent, and a few selected insignificant characters.

Christy wakes up on Voyager as she's about to discover something dark from her past… 

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 8

The darkness in my mind was ever so gradually beginning to lift. As my mind began to wander in search of answers, I became conscious of the pain that burned through my body. I wanted to free myself from the pain, but in spite of myself, I couldn't. As the darkness began to lift further, I fluttered my eyes open to stare into a bright light. For a moment, I was temporarily blinded, but little by little my eyes adjusted to the intensity of the lights. Slowly I could make out the forms of several people, knowing them all just by their silhouettes- Tom, B'Elanna, the Captain, the Commander, Tuvok, the Doctor, Tre'kent… As the details of their faces began to fill in, I realized with a start that I was alive. Despite the physical protests of the Doctor, I sat straight up to look at everybody that had surrounded me. "We survived…" I whispered with awe and amazement.

Tom gave a light chuckle as he beamed a smile. "You never fail to amaze me with what you can accomplish," he said cheerfully.

My eyes briefly caught his gaze, as I glanced about me. With increasing anxiety, I continued to look about in astonishment. A strong hand on my shoulder gently pushed me back down to the biobed. "Lie down, Ensign, you're not well," a sarcastic voice snapped. The Doctor leaned over me, and ran a medical tricorder up and down. He audibly mused, then stormed off to the other side of Sick Bay.

The hand on my shoulder offered a gentle squeeze. "Well done, Christy, well done…" the Captain murmured softly. I looked up at her to see a small tear in her eye. Behind her stood Tuvok and the Commander, as impassive as always. Looking around at the rest of the group, it looked as if they were attending a funeral rather than coming to visit me. They all looked so strange. My heart began to quicken as I had an awful feeling that something was wrong. Gathering up my courage, I drew in a sharp breath.

"How long have I been out?" I asked hoarsely.

"Nine days," Tom answered quietly, an uncharacteristic melancholy expression on his face. The silence descended as the tension in the room began to thicken.

Finally, Chakotay stepped up from behind the Captain Janeway. "Captain, with all due respect, I think it's time I returned to the Bridge."

Tuvok stepped in beside him. "I'll return with you," he said monotonously as he looked at the Captain.

With a look of dismissal, she gave a slight nod. Chakotay turned towards me. "Get well, Ensign," he said as they both exited Sick Bay.

Suddenly the Doctor flew from his office. "I hate to break up this cheerful party, but it's time everybody got going. My patient is tired," he said flatly. "Captain," he added, "I would like for you to come over here before you leave." He turned around and went back into his office as the Captain followed closely behind.

Picking up on the Doctor's notion, Tom leaned over and gave me a hug. "I think its time I got going," he said swiftly. "I'll come back and see you later, I promise."

As Tom stepped away, B'Elanna came up. She leaned down to give me a hug. "I have to catch up on the work I missed in Engineering. I'll be sure to stop by Sick Bay later." The doors swished behind them as they left.

As the group dispersed, I looked to the one lone figure. From the beginning, Tre'kent had patiently stood a distance away from the group. He now came up to take his turn. He forced a little smile as he planted a kiss on my forehead. "Samantha sends a get well soon, and an apology that she couldn't be here when you woke up," he said gently. I gave a small laugh.

"Tell her I'm all right," I replied.

"I will," he said slowly. "You gave me quite a scare, Christy. I was so worried…"

The Doctor cleared his throat loudly. "When I requested everyone to leave, that included you, Mr. Tre'kent," he interrupted hastily.

Tre'kent's eyes twinkled. "I'll stop by Sick Bay as soon as the Doctor lets me…" he said as he turned and left.

As soon as the doors swished behind him, the Doctor came up to the biobed, Captain Janeway in tow. Both of them wore unpleasant expressions on their faces. I looked at them nervously, my anxiety increasing. "So when can I leave Sick Bay, Doctor?" I asked uneasily.

"It might be a few days, Christy," the Captain answered as she moved to the other side of the biobed.

"I have to run a few tests," the Doctor added, "and you need your rest," he continued.

"Tests?" I squeaked. "Why?"

"You were hit with a bionuclear pulse, Ensign…"

"I know," I interjected.

The Doctor gave me an impatient look before he continued. "It rewrote your entire DNA," he resumed.

"I know," I said again emphatically.

The Doctor's anger began to visibly build; thankfully, the Captain stepped in just in time. "Christy, the new DNA sequence was stable…" her voice trailed off as she let me take the information in.

"Stable?" I repeated questioningly. "That's an astronomical impossibility." She nodded.

"However, the Doctor has restored your original DNA," she added.

I furrowed my eyebrows, dangerously unsure of where this conversation was going.

The Doctor came up from behind me with his medical tricorder beeping. His face looked smug, but he soon enough replaced the ridiculous expression with a scowl. "Thanks to Mister Paris, of course. I wouldn't have known where to start if he hadn't downloaded both base sequences into this medical tricorder," the Doctor said placidly. He ran the medical tricorder up and down as he reached for a hypospray.

"Christy," the Captain continued, "the Doctor still wants to run some tests. He found traces of the new DNA sequence in some of your old tissue cells."

"Callous tissue, brainstem cells, and your hemoglobin proteins to be exact," the Doctor interrupted. "I find the situation puzzling, and I'm hoping that some deep tissue tests will shed some light on the matter."

I was completely befuddled. "Callous tissue, brainstem cells and hemoglobin proteins? What are you saying, Doctor?" I asked as I put a hand on his arm to get his attention.

For a brief moment, his face betrayed a very concerned expression that gave way to my fears and doubts. Swiftly, his subroutines replaced it with an empty expression. "Those cells are very old, and I don't know how they have traces of the other sequence, your genetics may have been altered in some way before. I'm not certain, and I won't be certain of anything until I run some tests," he said vaguely as if he were trying to hold damaging information back.

I turned and looked at the Captain in confusion, hoping that she would enlighten me as to what was going on. She paused for a moment before cautiously speaking her carefully chosen words. "We found a Briikortian spy device aboard the shuttlecraft," she filled in. "Tom thinks that this might be why the Briikortian knew so much about all of you. And B'Elanna has been running extensive test on it in Engineering to see if it could have sent scanner readings to the ship or possibly have put out some sort of radiation. Until then, the scans will help us to determine what happened."

"What happened?" I asked softly as I looked from one to the other to see who was going to field my next question. But as they both remained silent, I nodded gravely, knowing that they would tell me when they thought the time was right. "How long will these tests take, Doctor?" I asked in a desperate attempt to keep my mind off their peculiar behavior.

The Doctor gave me a curious expression. "Two days," he said impassively, "and you'll have to be sedated."

I almost gagged, and immediately opened my mouth to defend myself.

"These scans and tests are sensitive, Ensign," he said before I could even find the words.

I nodded as he injected the hypospray into my neck. I allowed myself to be laid back onto the biobed. The Captain gave me an encouraging smile. "Compared to the mission, this should be fairly simple," she said matter-of-factly.

Sleepily, I nodded. "I'm sorry we didn't find a way home," I murmured throatily.

Her smile widened. "Not this time, Ensign, but we'll make it home the next time," she said as I dropped off to sleep.

My eyes fluttered open to find that Sick Bay was much more dimly lit than before. My head was pounding as I forced myself to sit up. I looked around to find that Sick Bay was deserted. "Computer," I commanded, "activate Emergency Medical Hologram."

The Doctor suddenly shimmered into view. "Ah, Ensign, you're up," he said sardonically. He pulled a hypospray off of a medical tray and injected it into my neck. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"As well as can be expected, I suppose," I said scratchily.

"This should counteract any pain you might be in this morning."

I looked at him curiously. "What were the results of the test?" I asked hesitantly as the lump began to form in the back of my throat.

Caught off guard, he stared at me and became flustered. "I'm not sure, yet, I'm still evaluating the results. You'll be the first to hear from me when I do."

I painfully raised my arm to rub my eyes. All of my muscles were stiff and sore.

"By the way," the Doctor said too cheerfully as he worked to prepare a second hypospray, "I took the liberty to administer the second treatment."

I raised my eyebrows. "The second treatment?"

"Yes, to counteract the telepathic link…" his voice trailed off as he looked up to see if I had caught his drift.

"Oh," I said when it finally occurred to me what he was talking about.

"I had already administered the second treatment to Tre'kent. You should have come into Sick Bay to receive yours before you went on that mission," he babbled away, under the spell of his own voice. "As far as…"

"Doctor," I interrupted sternly, "Am I dismissed from Sick Bay?"

"I suppose, but I'd rather you'd have someone to take you to your quarters."

I glared irately. "I can get myself to Deck three," I growled as I tried to boost myself off the biobed. Without warning, my uncooperative arms collapsed beneath me and I smacked back down on the biobed hard.

Shaking his head, he turned away from me and took a few steps into the center of the room. "Doctor to Mr. Tre'kent," he said as he hit his Comm badge.

"Tre'kent here, Doctor," Tre'kent replied pleasantly.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Your 'girlfriend' has been cleared to leave Sick Bay," he intoned, the sarcasm spilling out of his tone.

"I'm on my way," Tre'kent replied.

The Doctor turned back around and injected a second hypospray into my neck. "This should help you with sleeping, Ensign. Keep in mind that I have no intention of clearing you for duty shits for a couple of days. You need to rest."

I glared daggers at him as I struggled to prop myself up. "I should be getting back to work," I insisted.

He gave me an emotionless and innocent face. "You have to go through me to be cleared, and I promised you I won't clear you until I'm satisfied that you've had enough sleep," he said as he walked off into his office and deactivated himself

The doors swished open and Tre'kent walked in. He came up and planted a kiss on my forehead. "How are you feeling?" he asked quietly.

"I'll be feeling a great deal better the sooner I leave here."

He laughed as he helped me off the biobed to see if I could get my bearing. The moment my legs touched the floor, on the other hand, they crumpled beneath me. Quickly Tre'kent swooped down and picked me up.

I shook my head in disgust at my own helplessness as Tre'kent carried me out the door and up to my quarters.

When we reached my dim lit quarters, the drug the Doctor had given me had already begun to set in. Submissively, I let Tre'kent put me down on my bed and tuck me in as if I were a small child. As my head hit the pillow, I realized just how tired I was. Tre'kent kissed me on the cheek before he turned around to go. "Stay," I whispered drowsily.

Tre'kent gave me an omniscient look. "Only if you promise you'll sleep."

Giving a small yawn I nodded as I watched him sit down at the table in the darkened corner and pull out a PADD. "What are you doing?" I asked as I heard the small beeps.

"Studying," he answered, "now sleep."

I forced my arms to prop myself up. "Studying what? Maybe I can help," I offered.

"I thought you were sleeping," Tre'kent hissed, "I'll wake you up if the Doctor calls."

With a heavy sigh, I dropped back down into the bed, and closed my eyes, the constant sounds of the PADD lulling me to sleep as I took one last small look at the stars.

"Doctor to Ensign Anderson," the Comm system interrupted nearly three hours later. I shot up out of bed fully alert.

"Tre'kent here," a close voice answered as I went to hit my Comm badge.

"Would you please have Ensign Anderson report to Sick Bay immediately, I need to speak with her right away. It's extremely urgent," the Doctor's panicked voice informed us over the Comm system.

Immediately, I hit my Comm badge, beating Tre'kent to the draw. "I'm on my way."

****

To be continued…


	9. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 9

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 9

**Author: Christy Anderson**

**You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson, Tre'kent, and a few selected insignificant characters.**

**All I can say, is that I apologize because this part is extremely over due, and I finally found the time to finish it. I hope you enjoy it**

**Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 9**

> As the doors to Sick Bay swished open, Tre'kent released his supporting grip around my waist and let me stand on my own two feet. He gave me a caring, knowing glance before he took a step back. "I'll be right outside," he promised softly as he turned around and exited through the doors.
> 
> Inside of Sick Bay, B'Elanna's voice erupted. "Captain, I knew him. The bastard taught me a sem"
> 
> "B'Elanna," the Captain warned sharply, interrupting B'Elanna in mid-sentence.
> 
> "He taught me a semester of quantum physics at the Academy during my first year there and I always knew there was something funny about him. He was eccentric and he had an obsession with radical principles and discovering the 'perfect human being'," B'Elanna was saying furiously as she gestured her arms wildly. Her cheeks were flushed with outrage, and one of her fists shook a gray, circular alien object.
> 
> As I became engrossed in their conversation, I took a stumbling step forward and flailed out for anything around that would support me. I grabbed onto a console, and a PADD that was resting on top fell and smacked the ground. The sound radiated throughout the room, and the Captain instantly looked in my direction to catch me eavesdropping. Clearing her throat loudly, the Captain looked back up at B'Elanna. "Lieutenant, I'll be happy to finish this conversation at 18:30 hours in my Ready Room," she ordered as she interrupted B'Elanna again.
> 
> Startled, B'Elanna looked up and followed the Captain's glance. The indignant gleam that seethed in her eyes immediately quieted down to a sympathetic gaze when she noticed that I was standing behind her. "Of course," she whispered, pained, as she set the alien object on the Doctor's desk and turned away to exit Sick Bay. Coming up towards me, B'Elanna stopped and gave me an impulsive hug. "I'm glad you're feeling better," she whispered as she just as quickly hurried away to inconspicuously wipe away the tears forming in her eyes.
> 
> I looked up at the Captain, who motioned me forward as soon as the doors swished behind B'Elanna. "Ensign," Captain Janeway uncharacteristically acknowledged.
> 
> I nodded my head to acknowledge her as the tormented look from B'Elanna's eyes began to register. She had been crying, and angry. Bemused, I opened my mouth to ask about what had happened, but the Doctor immediately cut me off.
> 
> "I think you might want to sit down, Ensign," he said stoically.
> 
> Puzzle, I glanced from one solemn face to the other. The Captain's expression was grim, her eyes now dulled and lifeless. The only outward sign of emotion was the clenched fist that lay stiffened at her side. She watched me through glazed eyes that shifted nervously around the room, and a bead of sweat ran down from her forehead. Gazing at a small spot on the wall, she was in a deep vegetative state that usually only set in when she was particularly disturbed.
> 
> My pulse began to race as I could increasingly sense that something was terribly amiss. I stood rooted to the spot, the chaos in my mind whirling around enough to make me dizzy.
> 
> "I said sit down on the biobed, Ensign," the Doctor commanded with more authoritative volume in his voice.
> 
> It was enough to shove me out of the trance and I pushed down my panic levels as I fought to keep my voice even. "Unless its absolutely necessary, Doctor, I actually would prefer to stand," I insisted.
> 
> The Doctor made a face. "Captain," he complained.
> 
> The Captain jumped abruptly and her eyes spun about the room, finally setting on the Doctor. "I'm sorry, Doctor, you were saying?" she asked after a few moments
> 
> "Never mind." He gave an exasperated sigh. "Very well," he grumbled as he moved to activate the console. "I think we should begin Captain?"
> 
> She nodded, now fully alert. "Of course- Christy, how much do you remember about your childhood?" Captain Janeway asked with an unmistakable ghostly look in her eyes.
> 
> I shrugged. "What do you want to know?" I answered with a question.
> 
> The Captain wrinkled her face. "Nothing really well, no, I mean yes," she stopped to take a deep breath. "Christy, do you ever remember being in Dallas, Texas?"
> 
> I made a face as I thought back to as far as I could remember. "No, not at all," I said as I shook my head.
> 
> The Captain frowned. "Not at all?" she asked as she looked up at me again.
> 
> Bewildered, I shook my head a second time. "My parents were there a few times for some of my Father's earlier projects. If I'm not mistaken, that's where my Mother received the radiation poisoning."
> 
> The frown on the Captain's face grew deeper. "Do you remember that Tom and B'Elanna found your medical file on the shuttle?"
> 
> "Vaguely," I said as I recalled hearing a faint conversation in the shuttle as I came to the second time. I stared at the Captain who was being aberrantly evasive. "Captain, just tell me" I pleaded.
> 
> Captain Janeway looked up at me strangely, and then smiled. "Sorry," she muttered. "Christy, while you were on the shuttle, Tom and B'Elanna brought up your medical files for ideas to treat you. However, there were millions upon millions of medical entries, well that is a slight exaggeration. When the Doctor was searching for ways to treat the DNA transition, B'Elanna told him about the entries in the shuttle"
> 
> "Entries that I had never seen," the Doctor interrupted. "Needless to say, when you came aboard Voyager, we didn't have your medical records, but B'Elanna downloaded two hundred and sixty different entries from your birth until now, some of which were civilian."
> 
> I furrowed my eyebrows. "Civilian?" I asked with a squeak.
> 
> The Captain nodded. "Yes, but we had no real basis to assume they were true. What exists in the shuttle's database should be in Voyagers too"
> 
> "And you didn't tell me?" I asked suddenly, cross at the fact that they had held such information from me since I had woken up on Voyager. So this is what had everyone so upset.
> 
> "Christy," the Captain began, "You have to understand we couldn't find them in Voyager's database, and needless to say, the medical entries were very controversial. We didn't want to alarm you unnecessarily because you needed to rest. But B'Elanna and Tuvok were searching endlessly through Voyager's database. We had all shifts of security teams searching the shuttle, checking through sensor logs, and Tom was helping run simulations of the pulse that hit you during the mission. We weren't sure that anything would turn up, let alone what would turn up..."
> 
> But I had already stopped listening since her second sentence. "Controversial?" I asked sharply.
> 
> The Doctor stepped up, obviously ignoring my question. "B'Elanna came in here two hours ago with sudden inspiration. She remembered that she had removed all of the security protocol before she had attempted to bring the medical files up. When Tuvok removed all the security protocol temporarily, these entries came up just like they had in the shuttle. Evidently, they have been in the database since Voyager left dry-dock."
> 
> At last, Captain Janeway caught up to the rhythm of the conversation and stepped right in without skipping a beat. "As far as B'Elanna can tell, someone added all of your medical files to the Starfleet database and protected them with a program that required a password to view all of your files. It fed off of the security protocols, and as soon as they were disabled, the program shut down. All we can think of is that someone sent these files to somebody that was waiting for you on Celsius Prime"
> 
> "Waiting for me? Controversial?" I asked again emphatically.
> 
> The Captain's face showed brief sorrow. "I don't think that I can explain this properly. Perhaps, Christy, you should take a look through the files."
> 
> At her nod, the Doctor stepped up to another console and activated the screen. I came up behind him and began to read the first few entries.
>
>> _29 December 2354- _
>> 
>> _Kathryn Hopewell Hospital, Dallas, TX_
>> 
>> _Dr. Koshener_
>> 
>> _The infant child of Mr. and Mrs. Anderson responded well to post radiation treatment- no permanent damage observable. However, deep tissue scans show that the Third Chromosome, Sub-junction Beta, Base Pair Sequence Alpha displays a complex radioactive pattern, more extensive scans in process_
> 
> "This is perfectly normal, Captain, I already knew I received acute radiation poisoning before I was born. Dr. Koshener was my father's friend who handled the case. Even when I was eight he still came for visits" I trailed off at the look on her face as she hit a button and zoomed ahead several entries. Following her lead, I trained my vision back on the screen and commenced reading again.
>
>> _8 April 2354-_
>> 
>> _Kathryn Hopewell Hospital, Dallas, TX_
>> 
>> _Dr. Koshener_
>> 
>> _The radioactive gene has displayed the ability to morph and mutate the basic DNA sequence. I have begun to confer with several colleagues of mine in an attempt to shut the gene down. According to calculations approximately .001% of her DNA has changed, and by shutting the gene down we should be able to protect her from any more of these changes. Another month and I should be able to locate the areas affected by the small mutation_
> 
> The Captain hit the button again.
>
>> _10 April 2354-_
>> 
>> _Kathryn Hopewell Hospital, Dallas, TX_
>> 
>> _Dr. Koshener_
>> 
>> _Dr. Gibralnher from Starfleet examined the medical case. Starfleet will officially take over tomorrow on the account of medical advancement. They are bringing in all of the workers at the launch of the U.S.S. Asteroid Belt who received the acute radiation poisoning that was leaked from the ships port nacelles to see if any of them contain the extraordinary gene. I leave the case in his capable hands_
> 
> The display zoomed forward again.
>
>> **__STARFLEET MEDICAL FILES**
>> 
>> _Stardate 32285.1_
>> 
>> _Medical Personnel- Dr. Gibralnher_
>> 
>> _Medical Notes_
>> 
>> _ After running several diagnostics on test results, I have become even more certain that I have finally found what I have been looking for. The child has a special gene that can mutate her DNA on the subatomic level. I have teams studying the type and frequency of radiation she was exposed to, to see if we can reconstruct the accident and create several identical genes in different test subjects. All personnel present at the original accident, both Starfleet and civilian, who were brought in for more extensive testing, do not display any of the significant changes in any of their 24 chromosomes. The only hypothesis we have is that this child was not born yet at the time that the radiation leakage occurred_
>> 
>> _ I have permanently removed Dr. Koshener from the case. Tomorrow I will begin experiments to see if we can harness basic radiation to force the gene into rapid mutation. Perhaps we will shortly be able to design ways to target specific areas of the DNA to change specific things, from eye color to IQ, we could finally be looking at a way to create the perfect human being (at last)_
> 
> I tore my eyes away from the console, the naked reality beginning to seep in. I looked up at the Captain, tears stinging my eyes. "Was any of this done to save my life?" I asked in a whisper, and immediately saw the Captain shake her head. "I was an experiment?" I asked pained.
> 
> The Captain gave a slight nod, almost indistinguishable. "Apparently when Dr. Gibralnher took over your case he viewed it as an opportunity to create the perfect human being. Your radioactive gene sped up the process of genetic recreation, especially when he learned that your stem cells were responsible for the abnormal chromosome. In a few short months there were three infants, including you, but only you had the full radioactive gene. Try as he might, he could only replicate parts of it, and there were many times that he failed and killed his 'test subjects'. Over the years, as he concentrated on all three, especially you, he came up with a process of targeting specific DNA sequences to change specific things. According to the entries, these experiments lasted for years. It was not until you were thirteen that you were released from your monthly 'check-ups' because he had collected all the data he needed to start other experiments on new children. The Doctor has determined that up to 97% of your existing DNA has been changed. About as far as we can tell, the pulse that you were hit with on the Shuttle didn't give you an entire new DNA sequence, it reverted all the changes back to the original"
> 
> "Unfortunately, your body can no longer hold that original sequence," the Doctor began, "I already tried to stabilize you earlier when you were brought in, but almost every single thing is different, especially your amino acid sequences The large change is too much for your system- that is why you were going into synaptic shock; at your age, you cannot handle any more changes to your DNA sequence. Of course, when you were first brought in, I also wasn't quite sure that any of these recorded experimentations that Tom and B'Elanna found were true, but when I did find a masked radioactive gene on the 3rd chromosome, I used a Bajoran technique to shut it down immediately for your safety."
> 
> At that moment in my life, I could only blink. The moment I tried to process the information, the emotions of anger and hurt came rushing at me with a thousand attacks. But there was one question one question that had to be asked "Did my Father know?" I heard my own voice asking, pleading, waiting hopelessly for the answer.
> 
> From my own two eyes, I watched the Captain nod again. "It didn't take your Father long to discover this after Dr. Gibralnher began to change specific things, some were probably relatively easy to spot. When your Father confronted Dr. Gibralnher, he was threatened with his job, his career as a scientist. He said that he could twist your Father's reputation, start a family scandal for the world to read. And, Christy, your Father backed down"
> 
> Her last words injured me more than anything ever had in my life My father had backed down and left things the way they were
> 
> For a moment, I stayed deathly silent, wondering if I could even make it out of this room before I broke down. But I stood in front of the Captain, and I could never bring myself to cry in front of her. Instead, the anger aroused inside of me as I spat out my next question: "Why don't I remember any of this?"
> 
> The Captain grimaced. "From the age of three, they began giving you doses of memory drugs to block the memory pathways to specific incidents Every month there would at least be a few hours out of one day that you could not remember. It seemed harmless to them, of course- this way there would be no emotional damage on their 'test subjects'. You were right, though, Christy, Dr. Koshener kept in touch and came to see you and your Father, often, too often. Dr. Koshener began to notice the changes too, and he began to do research, stick his nose in where other people thought it didn't belong. He asked questions for your sake, questions that had gone unanswered and ignored in the previous years. He finally found out from an old colleague, who was working distantly on your case, that some of the rumors he had heard were true. Dr. Koshener was outraged when he found out that your Father knew what kind of experiments that they ran on you every month. Without hesitation, he publicly accused Dr. Gibralnher of malpractice and unspeakable crimes. But the next week, Dr. Koshener was falsely cast out of the medical field for alleged murder. He was arrested, and put to death under Starfleet. I'm afraid that is why you never saw him again after you were nine. However, his accusations brought up a minor investigation of Dr. Gibralnher's lab. They interview you because you were one of his charges, but you had no recollection of the experiments and Dr. Gibralnher was off the hook."
> 
> The load of information was becoming intolerable and I began to shake my head slowly back and forth to clear it of the random, haphazard thoughts that were running through my mind. I suddenly felt a heavy hand on my shoulders as I began to ask, "Who knows?"
> 
> The reply was deliberate. "I do. Chakotay, Tom, B'Elanna, Tuvok, and the Doctor know. Security Teams Alpha- Gamma know a little. Other than that, we've kept it pretty quiet for your sake" the Captain's voice trailed off. "I know that you have millions of questions, so the Doctor downloaded all of the files, and his report, and transported a few data PADDS to your quarters."
> 
> "His report?" I asked.
> 
> "I analyzed the extensive tests that I had taken and drew up a list of systems that had been affected by the DNA changes. Needless to say, the list was long. I also included my medical opinions and a firm demand as Voyager's Chief Medical Officer, and your medical liaison, that the perpetrators be rightly and justly prosecuted for their crimes- malpractice, violation of three innocent children, arranged murder, etc.," the Doctor said with a taint of sick enthusiasm.
> 
> I gulped. It occurred to me that I was not whom I was supposed to be from the beginning, and at that moment, hearing about a list of my affected systems began to push my level of anger higher. Reading that would seem too much like admitting that those parts weren't really me, but plagiarized, forged, stolen from somebody else. If there was anything else that I dreaded at that moment, reading that list was it. How would my friends feel if they found out what really was and wasn't me. That instead of being smart, I was really supposed to be a vegetable, or that instead of hazel, my eye color should have been red, or something like that. The anger inside of me wanted to destroy that list, to destroy the evidence, to try to go back and pretend that my life for once was normal. That list harbored everything that was threatening to tear my world apart. I took in a sharp breath. "You'll be writing your own report too?" I inquired as I looked up at the Captain. Slowly she nodded.
> 
> "I'll be using the entries and the report from the Doctor to write a formal charge against Dr. Gibralnher and his organization to turn in when we get back home in the Alpha Quadrant."
> 
> "Do you have to use the Doctor's report?" I asked suddenly.
> 
> "Christy!" the Doctor exclaimed.
> 
> "Doctor, can I see you over here?" I asked motioning to the other side of Sickbay as I turned and left the Captain standing behind, puzzled. As I waited for the Doctor to come over, my eyes brimmed with tears. He looked up at me in a dominant, yet inquisitive sort of way. "As a member of this crew, I have the right to Doctor-patient confidentiality, correct?" I asked bitterly.
> 
> The Doctor's face softened. "Yes, but"
> 
> "Can the Captain make her report without yours?" I cut him off.
> 
> "Well, I suppose, but it"
> 
> "Can she?" I challenged angrily.
> 
> The Doctor gave a resolute nod.
> 
> I let out an aggrieved sigh. "It's just that It's not like I want to get rid of your report I mean I just need time to come to terms with this," I said honestly. "And I would like to keep this as private as possible."
> 
> The Doctor gave another nod. "I understand. I'll go tell the Captain," and he turned around and left. I stood there for a while, somewhat relieved as I watched him tell her. Understanding and sympathy flooded over her face- emotions that I didn't want to accept from anybody. Within the next minute, the Doctor waved me back over.
> 
> "Ensign," he began, "I've discussed with the Captain the possibility of counseling."
> 
> At once, I frowned. "There is no ship's counselor on board," I stated.
> 
> He nodded. "I'm well aware of that, but I have been planning to add parenting subroutines to my holomatrix in order to give informative classes to Ensign Wildman. I might add some psychiatric subroutines as well."
> 
> I could feel the anger surging up inside of me. "No thank you, Doctor," I managed as politely as I could.
> 
> "But Ensign, you are going through a confusing time, and an imperative one as well. There is room to grow as a person. Your past is going to be a haunting subject for maybe even years to come it is psychologically traumatizing"
> 
> "No thank you," I growled. "_W_" I stopped, suddenly unable to go on. "_Wer_" I started again. "_Wer_"
> 
> The Doctor beamed a nasty half-smile. "Your German," he said curiously. "I'm surprised that you hadn't noticed it before."
> 
> "What about my German?" I snapped, desperately trying to recall the once-familiar words.
> 
> "When I operated to restore your DNA sequence to what can now be considered your original one, some parts of your brain took a heavier beating than others. The speech center of your brain, particularly, but I couldn't tell exactly what for sure." He shrugged. "We were afraid you'd wake up speaking German and nothing else, but it seems to be the other way around. The medical profession is always an interesting one," he stopped as he pulled out a hypospray and injected it into my neck. "Don't worry, Ensign," he said as he saw the expression on my face, "It will come back within the next week. And this will help it slightly." He smiled. "Now about counseling" he began again.
> 
> "I don't want counseling, Doctor!" I screamed.
> 
> "Christy!" the Captain yelled.
> 
> I cringed as I heard her voice. "I'm sorry, Doctor," I began, "I just think that it would be beneficial to myself if I worked through this alone."
> 
> The two of them nodded. "Then I think it would be fair to tell you," the Doctor added, " that in the next few weeks you will be experiencing flashbacks, some of them most likely unpleasant, because I also took the liberty to restore the blocked memory pathways. And if you ever"
> 
> I nodded. "I understand," I interrupted him. "Now, Captain, if I may be dismissed" I said questioningly as I straightened up into the formal Starfleet position.
> 
> Despite herself, she gave a small chuckle. "Of course, Christy. You can take the next two days off from your duty shifts, on medical and personal reasons. I expect to see you today at 20:00 hours in my Ready Room, and you needn't have your official report on the mission yet."
> 
> I nodded, the tears that I hadn't yet shed welling up once again in the back of eyes. With great effort, I managed to turn around and stumble out the Doors to exit Sickbay.
> 
> As the doors swished shut behind me, I felt myself fall into a pair of strong arms.** It will be all right**,Tre'kent's voice sounded in my head as he wrapped his arms around me. Holding on for dear life, I let the tears out. **You can only be brave for so long.**

**To be continued**


	10. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 10

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 10

**Author: Christy Anderson**

**You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson, Tre'kent, and a few selected insignificant characters.**

**This is part 10, and it took me so long to write this because it is so long.I wanted to make this the last chapter, but I already had a long chapter, and had to hold the second part off until next time.So I plan to finish this soon in the next chapter, and I hope I can get that up within the next week.I hope you all enjoy this!**

**Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 10**

** **

Tre'kent made no haste in calling for an internal transport to my quarters on Deck 3.Gently he sat me in the chair at the table, and brightened the lights high enough to see.I crossed my arms on the table and buried my face as I cried.The sound of footsteps behind me stopped, and instead I could hear the soft tap of buttons.A few minutes later, a hand placed a steaming dish before me that began to burn my skin.Startled, I sat up and looked at the bowl of reddish liquid.What is it? I transmitted to Tre'kent as a familiar scent struck my nostrils.

Number 8 in your culinary database, he answered lightheartedly.In spite of the tears, I gave a small chuckle.Tre'kent sat down across from me bringing a bowl for himself.He looked up at me and wiped the tears from my face.Impatiently, he raised his eyebrows in question to imply that he wanted to know what he was about to eat.

Tomato Soup, I replied.What made you choose this?

It was the most used selection, he responded earnestly.

I could not help but smile again in amusement.It's not mine, I transmitted humorously.It's Tom's.

Again Tre'kent raised his eyebrows.I felt myself catch my breath- he could not help but look handsome in the dim lit room, the steam from the soup clouding my gaze.The sight of him made my heart quicken and feel warm all over.Tom was having trouble with the replicator and I helped him perfect the recipe.The computer put it in my database, but he has clearance to use it.I do not eat it too often, so I suppose that I should give it to him, I disclosed before shifting my stare back down on the soup.

"Smells good," he said softly."I've never had it before."

I smiled inwardly."Then let's cheer up and share your first bowl of tomato soup together," I chorused as I picked up the spoon.The brief moment of comfort fled, leaving only the silence."So what happened while I was away?" I asked innocently.

Not much, Tre'kent answered telepathically as he slowly ate.After you left, we monitored your progress from the Bridge, and…

We?The Bridge? I interrupted.

Tre'kent beamed a proud smile.Lieutenant Stanfield took me to the Bridge and let me sit at the Science Console.He had me monitoring the visible acidity variations.

And Tuvok did not object? I asked, fascinated.

Yes, Tre'kent transmitted, at first, but the Captain overruled him.She was okay with it until I caused a cascade sensor failure ship-wide.

Without warning, I gagged on my soup.From the science station?You can actually do that from the science station?!On the Bridge? I exclaimed.

Tre'kent's cheeks burned a bright red.Tuvok had a security officer escort me back to the Science Lab.It took Harry a very long time to fix the sensors and get them operational again.

I couldn't help but laugh a little."That must have been awful," I sympathized at last.

He looked at me long and hard."I am sure that you find that just awful," he said sarcastically as I tried to stifle my further laughter.

I've never heard of anyone doing that before!I mused.Tre'kent scowled.I know, I know, I relented, You _are still learning.Did anything else happen?_

Tre'kent casually shrugged and began to talk out loud, sensing that my mind was tired."When Harry finally got the sensors back online, nobody could detect the shuttle in the quantum foam.Immediately, the Captain put together science teams to discover a way to safely enter the foam if it was necessary.She had Harry and Chakotay working on communications to see if they could cut through the foam.Then all of a sudden, Tuvok thought that he detected weapon's fire in the nebula, so Captain Janeway called me back up to her Ready Room on a random suggestion from the Doctor.She asked me if I could attempt to communicate with you through our telepathic bond.As soon as I agreed, she sent me down to Sickbay and the Doctor hooked me up to all of these emergency life support systems just in case something went wrong.It took me at least 12 hours before I could even detect your thoughts.I could faintly feel your lifesign, and the first thing that I could sense was that you were dying.Christy, I have never been so scared in my life.And suddenly all that I could think about was never seeing you again, and I knew that I could never live without you.I screamed, and yelled, and ordered you to hang on, but it never seemed like you could hear me.It became dark and black, and I felt so tired that I fell into a dream where I woke up in Sickbay with you right beside me on the next biobed," he gave me a sly smile."I was so happy, that I jumped off the biobed, and kissed you on your lips before the Doctor even knew that I was up.Of course as soon as he did, the Doctor attacked me with his hyposprays, and that's when I knew that it was not a dream."

His drama brought a well-earned smile to my face."Anything else happen?" I asked, detecting his sudden silence.

Tre'kent shook his head and turned back to the warm soup."Really?" I asked, perceiving the slight nuance in his attitude.As he shook his head again, I surreptitiously slipped into his thoughts.I see, I see, I see… a telecomm… I transmitted loudly.From across the table, Tre'kent swatted at me.Slyly, I beamed an innocent smile.That's what this telepathic bond is all about, I said playfully, we cannot keep secrets from each other.

Tre'kent's face had visibly drained."You shouldn't have done that…" he reprimanded gently.

I felt my breath catch in my chest."What's wrong?" I demanded."What happened?"

"Christy, I got a telecomm from a… citizen, I mean an old friend on Tritain," he whispered sadly.

"The Moheelean home world?" I asked.

He nodded his head, and his short brown curls bobbed a bit."Yeah, an old friend…" his voice trailed off."Um… who said that my mother was… um… ill again and was in a hospital on Corteine for treatment."

My face turned to a ghastly shade of white."Do you think its some sort of sick joke intended to lure you into entrapment?"

Tre'kent negatively shook his head."To Zedir, to country, to family," he quoted with great patriotism."The Moheelean sacred oath.No one would ever play such a joke using my mother.They could be arrested to just for violating the oath.The message has to be true."

"Zedir?" I asked curiously."Was he your ruler?He could be dead by now- the oath could no longer have that same hold on people."

Tre'kent lifted the one corner of his mouth in a wry smile."Zedir is the Moheelean god," he said with an amused tone."I doubt he's dead."

"A god?I am genuinely surprised, Tre'kent.I did not think that you believed in those kinds of things."

He gave a sigh."I don't, but my mother is a very religious woman.If Zedir exists, it cannot hurt to intercede on her behalf.He is sure to cure such a loyal believer."

The silence settled down again, and I sipped another bite of my soup."So what do you plan to do now?" I asked, inwardly scared and dreading his answer.

"Not much that I can do from Voyager," he answered to my relief."My mother was often sick when I was a child… it is no different now… until I hear that she is back to health, I will just continue to pray.I already set up a Moheelean prayer table in my room.I almost did not remember how…I almost could not do it …It brought back too many bad memories…I almost wish that my family… no, no, I don't wish.To Zedir, to country, to family…My mother was not too bad though, she supported me, silently, but she was still proud of me…"

I saw a tear glistening in his eye, and I moved my hand to wipe it away.Halfway across the table, though, Tre'kent caught my hand, took my other one, and brought them both up to his lips as he placed a gentle kiss on them."Some memories are too painful to comfort, you should know that…" he explained hauntingly.I could feel the tears welling up in my own eyes, and one bitter teardrop slipped down my cheek before I could stop it.Tre'kent looked up at me through innocent yet pained eyes."Christy," he began cautiously."B'Elanna told me about everything when she left Sickbay.I think it is terrible, what happened to you, and I am sorry that you had to find out this way…" he let his voice trail off."Are you going to be okay?" he asked for lack of a better question.

Instantly, I opened my mouth to say that I was fine, that everything was fine, but I realized just how empty those words were.Strangely, I could no longer tell how I felt inside, everything felt numb, very numb.Everything felt numb and dead.The only thing that lied inside of me was the anger that raged up to explode."_W… W…I don't want to talk about it!" I screamed, frustration building."I only wish that…"_

"Don't wish," Tre'kent interrupted."It does no good to ever wish that things happened differently; trust me, I know.Everything is all right now, Christy, you do not have to discuss anything with me, but if you ever want to…" Tre'kent began to offer.

"I don't want to talk about it!" I yelled again."How could my Father not realize just how much he was hurting me?" I yelled louder as my level of anger heightened."Do you know how much it hurts right here," I started as I gestured to my heart, "to know what he let happen?To know what he kept from me because he was too ashamed to admit it?To know that instead of being here, I could be in some God forsaken laboratory?Do you know just how much that hurts?To know that your parents of all people in the world, the two special people in your life that should protect you from every evil in the world, just sat by and watched while some crazy Starfleet doctors experimented on you?To find out that you are really not who you are supposed to be?That you are like an imposter, a fake, someone's invention?That you were created to be the perfect human being?That you will never have the chance to actually be yourself, to know what you really should have been like?To be some laboratory experiment of a devilishly uncaring, insensitive, and disturbed doctor?Do you know what it is like?Do you know?Can you relate?Can you possibly understand this kind of hurt?" I shouted with all of the power in my lungs.Suddenly, in wild desperation, I unconsciously picked a discarded PADD on the table and flung it brutally at the wall.Fast as lightening, Tre'kent released my hands and reached up to catch the object.Patiently he set it back on the table.My entire body was shaking with anger and sobs, and my throat was constricted so much that I couldn't talk or shout.

Kindly, Tre'kent came over and put his arms around my shoulders protectively. Everything's all right, he repeated as he rocked me back and forth.I'll protect you from all of that.I swear that I will always be here from now on to protect you from all of that.I'll be right by your side for support and security…just calm down, Christy, just calm down.Take deep breaths…

His words sunk in like poison; I wanted that kind of protection so desperately.But I couldn't, I wouldn't.The person that I had trusted most in life, my Father, had betrayed me my entire life, and eventually Tre'kent would too.People were destined to let each other down, and I could not take another blow like this.Determinedly, I shook off his grip and stood up extra tall to meet his height."I am sorry for my display," I apologized precariously."I just want to work through this alone… Please, I'll be all right," I bumbled through the words one at a time and gulped.

Tre'kent nodded understandingly, placing a small loving peck on my cheek."I'll go to my quarters and pray some more," he suggested quietly as he turned and left the room.

As the doors swished behind him, I collapsed back onto the table in wretchedness.I didn't want him to go and leave me.Without him I felt so unprotected, so vulnerable, but I did not want his protection.With the thoughts and anger bubbling over, I let out an anguished cry as I picked up the PADD and flung it violently at the wall again.This time, Tre'kent was not here to catch it and it thudded loudly against the wall.I turned to see the large dent in the drab gray wall.I riveted my eyes to the dent, unable to look away from the sight.

"Christy!" a voice called frantically as the doors swished open.I flung around to look at the person through red and puffy eyes."What was that?" B'Elanna continued in the same breath.

"What?" I managed to squeak out.

"That loud sound?"She came over to the table where I still stood and looked at the noticeable dent in the wall."It looks better that way," she commented after staring at it for a few moments in silence."Trust me, I do it all the time.I'll send a repair crew later."She picked up the shattered PADD off of the floor and dumped it into the recycler."So, do I have to ask how you're holding up?"

"Not really," I intoned as I flopped onto the couch and buried my face into the pillow.

"Christy," she warned harshly.

Painfully I wiped away the tears to face her."I apologize, Lieutenant," I muttered scornfully, "It's just that besides a shock- it is… it's… it's… I mean it's like finding out that you're not really you…" I spoke, trying to express the volatile and self-pity feelings that were surging throughout me.

B'Elanna's face softened as she opened her mouth to speak."Or like realizing that your father left you and your mother because of what you were- Klingon," she said tightly, surprising me by her openess."You don't need to apologize, Christy.Actually, I came to see how you were doing and if you were still interested in… um… becoming a member of my Engineering staff.You do remember when I offered, right?"

I gave her a weak smile as I remembered her offer in the shuttlecraft- I had not thought that I would have lived to see this day."Of course I am still interested."

"And," B'Elanna continued nervously, "I… um… also wanted to speak to you about your official report on the mission."

"Oh?" I retorted apathetically.

B'Elanna looked up at me with a blank face and continued as if nothing had happened."Tom and I co-decided to leave the last minute message that we sent through the wormhole out of our official reports.After all, there doesn't seem to be any visible damage to the space-time continuum, and I don't think that the Captain would approve of it.For all we know, some warp developing civilization discovered the probe and destroyed it because they thought it was an enemy.So until we see something otherwise, the plan is to keep the matter quiet, okay?"

I nodded thoughtfully.B'Elanna abruptly came up and gave me a hug."It hurts, doesn't it?" she asked rhetorically."Yeah, I know, it always does, but I promise that the pain and hurt will get cease with time.These things always take time, lots of time, but it does get better, life goes on," she said softly as she turned around to leave."I'll see you later, Christy."

I only emptily nodded again.

The doors swished shut behind her and instantly swished open again to admit somebody else.Familiar yet foreign words pierced through the air in Samantha's calm and motherly voice.Without delay I could recognize the words as German, but I could not comprehend what she was saying at all.I couldn't separate the alien words into sentence, phrases, or even individual words."Stop!" I commanded hastily, "I cannot understand what you are saying, no German, no German, please no German…"

Samantha looked at me quizzically."Christy, are you all right?" she asked in English.

Her question through me off balance, and I shifted as I realized that she probably didn't know about my 'dark past'.Mutely I nodded and took in a sharp breath as I formulated an excuse."The Doctor said that some of the speech centers of my brain were affected and that I would not be able to speak German for at least a week.It must have affected the way I comprehend it too," I said quickly.It was the truth, I rationalized.

As she nodded, she smiled."I was going to replicate us something to eat, but Tre'kent says you already had dinner."

I nodded numbly."Yes, I did," I managed to mumble, looking at the two bowls that were still on the table."How's Naomi?" I asked, hoping to deter the conversation from any other touchy future topics.

"Healthy and fussy as ever- Neelix volunteered to watch her for a while.He has been anxious to learn some German; we are hoping that Naomi can grow up multilingual.Neelix is offering to teach her Talaxian, and Ensign Cobey says that he has a mean Bolian tongue.I am sure that she is already picking up on so much German by being around you.Her first words should be German.Oh, Neelix also told me to tell you that he's happy to take your babysitting shifts for awhile.After all, the Doctor said that you needed to rest for a few days."

"How did you know that?" I snapped sharply.

Samantha drew a step back."The Doctor left a holocomm in my room asking me to keep you out of trouble.He knows how feisty you are when he tells you that he is not going to clear you for duty for a few days._Ger…"_

"No!" I yelled."No German!I cannot understand it!"Samantha stood in appalled silence."On second thought, no German!No German ever!Why should I honor my father by speaking his language!English serves everybody well on this ship!"

It took Samantha almost three minutes to recover from my display.She inhaled a deep breath, her face visibly confused and baffled."It's all right, calm down.I am sure that you do not mean it; you are just frustrated."

"No," I emphasized."That's not it…" I sobbed as I buried my face in my hands.A comforting hand reached out and patted my back.

"Christy, what is wrong?" she asked.Her words were concise and deliberate.

"No," I cried again."I'm not frustrated- I am angry and hurting!Cannot anybody understand this?" I whispered in dejection.

"Christy, what is going on?" Samantha asked again, more forcefully this time.

At once my better judgement got a hold of me and I apologized, something that I had done four times now in the past hour alone."Just go away, Samantha," I continued, "I'm not much company, and I think that I need to be alone for a few minutes, just to get a hold of myself…please, if it is not too much trouble…"

"It's no problem.I'll come by and check on you later.God bless," she whispered, her face perplexed and concerned.

The doors made a melancholy whine behind her, leaving me all alone in peace in the darkness.I commanded the computer to turn off the illumination, turning the room pitch black.With ease I felt my way to the table with all of the PADDS from the Doctor and the Captain, and with an unsteady hand, I picked up the first one.As I hit the small button in the side corner, the screen lit up brightly, and a title bar reviewed its contents: some of the later entries in project 'Child of Night'.As I read through the first through lines, my heart pounded in my chest until I could no longer hear the sound of my labored breathing.Finally my hands began to shake so much that the PADD fell to the floor with a loud thwap.Swiftly I bent over to search for it in the darkness, and carefully place it in my lap.One ghostly experiment after another I read, the nausea in my stomach mounting.Unable to take anymore, I discarded the PADD aside and picked up a second.The title read Formal Report and Charges, the Doctor's report, I realized.I scrolled down guardedly, coming to the list of 'affected systems'.

Did I dare read what 97% of my DNA had changed?Admirably, I closed my eyes and hit the button, trying to pry open one eyelid and then the other.But instead, my hand quickly discarded the PADD aside, and I jumped up from the chair and moved across the room fretfully, like the PADD had some dreaded disease, some deadly disease.

Without anything else to do, I activated the console, and searched through my database.I truly needed something to occupy my mind.After clearing out the clutter that I had built up over the year, it was not too much longer until I came upon holoprogram Anderson 2.Out of anger, my hand moved to hit 'delete', but something stopped me as I thought about a special place that I had not been since I was a child.

Twenty minutes later, after leaving my Comm badge in my quarters, I stood outside of holodeck two with a pair of newly replicated programming glasses."Computer activate holodeck program Anderson 2 and open the programming parameters file."

The computer beeped."Specified program is activated and the programming parameters file has been opened."

I gave a satisfactory nod before I barged right in.

Two hours later, I sat in the cold pew in a small chapel, examining my work.The anger and hurt had been resourcefully targeted at the tedious job.

"Computer decrease illumination by 3.5% and decrease temperature by 5° F."The computer beeped and granted my wishes."Feels just like home," I whispered to myself as I stared at the cement pillars and the slight chipping of eggshell paint.The cross that sat in front of the chapel donned its fresh signature look.The faint smell of traditional incense spread through the cool air.The two stained glass windows in the front of the chapel gleamed brightly, catching the glow of the setting sun."Beautiful," I whispered as I nodded off to a peaceful sleep.

The computer beeped loudly as the holodeck doors swished open to admit a darkened figure whom the holodeck immediately clothed in the traditional Roman Catholic black vestures for the priest.Despite the costume, Kenneth stood there in the middle of the doorway, his impish grin beaming, and I was thirteen years old again, the fresh red tearstains hot on my face.I didn't want to go back home, I was so hurt and angered by the argument that I had had with my Father.The incense was burning heavily, and my stomach growled because I hadn't had any food in hours.My chestnut hair was longer, down past my shoulders.And it was Kenneth that I was so relieved to see, because I knew that he would find me.I half expected to hear the words that I had heard so long ago from him, "Chris- thank goodness I found you!Are you all right?We've been half crazed looking for you!"

Instead the reverie faded away and the figure merely loomed in the doorway, staring back at me.With an astonished guise on his face he strode forward, and looked prepared to give Mass and a homily.Instead the now familiar voice called out to me, "Christy, I thought I would find you here.Are you all right?You had me going crazy looking for you all over the ship.Here," he said as he handed me a small triangular object, "you left this in your room."

"Thanks, Tom," I said with disappointment as I reached out to take my Comm badge back and pin it back once again on my uniform.

In silence, Tom slid into the pew next to me."Nice place," he commented.With amused laughter he looked down at his holodeck costume."So, I guess I'm a Roman Catholic priest," he said at last.

I smiled."Yeah, I was programming the character for Father Flannigan, and I must have passed out and left the programming parameters file open."

"Lucky me," Tom retorted.

"Oh, no!" I gasped, suddenly realizing what must have happened."Computer," I commanded, "display programming parameters for holocharacter Father Flannigan."Part of the chapel wall blanked out and an enlarged file filled out the space.The picture beside the information was one of Tom in his black vesture.In disappointment I groaned loudly."I just lost all my work," I complained.

Tom made a face as he shrugged."He looks better that way.Even I can see the handsome resemblance."

I turned around and glared before playfully hitting him.Tom shrugged again."At least I wasn't the one that went around and left the programming parameters file open," he excused himself.

"You are impossible!" I shot back.

Tom leaned his head from side to side as if pondering the idea."You're right," he said at last, "but what can I say, it's my trademark."He painted an innocent look on his face."So, where are we?Small church in the medieval times?"

I shook my head."This chapel was built in the 21st century.Small businesses and private charities helped keep it up and running.We're actually five miles away from the lab, and 25 miles away from my house.Everything here looks just the way it does at home- the tile, the altar, the statues, the stain glass window, the frescoes, and even the cracks on the walls."

Tom appeared impressed.But as the words came out of my mouth, I saw a discrepancy in the wall.I grabbed the programming glasses and stared at a small crack that seemed to stick out of its environment."Computer," I commanded."Increase the length of the crack uniformly by 2 cm."

The computer beeped as it completed my orders.

For a closer look, I put on the programming glasses and looked at the holodeck through a green grid."Computer," I ordered again, "Increase the width of the crack in an irregular pattern by 5mm in holodeck grid 5 Alpha, subsection 7 Theta."The computer beeped again as the small portion of the holodeck shimmered.I made a face at the results."Increase the grime appearance with pattern Alpha 9."

The computer beeped and I took off the glasses to see the results properly.I grimaced as I looked at the non-authentic appearance of the wall."Computer, override and use pattern Omega 1," I instructed.The computer beeped as it complied, but something about the small crack still did not seem to be right."Override and use pattern Theta 4," I snapped.The wall shimmered again, and this time, it was perfect.With a feeling of satisfaction, I slid back into the pew and just smiled."Now its just like home…"

Tom gave me a look of surprise."Wow, all that trouble for a little crack.This place does look beautiful, though.You are a great holographic engineer.I would even say you beat Harry, hands down.But of course I cannot be the final judge on that until I actually see this place for myself when we get back home to the Alpha Quadrant.To be so dedicated, though, wow!This place must really be something to you."

I gave him a wry smile."Yeah it was.When I was thirteen years old, I had an argument with my Father.Of course, I do not know what it was about now, but I could tell you a few things that I would say to him now that could cause the same amount of ruckus…"

"Christy!" Tom snapped.

I glowered at him before shaking it off and continuing."Well I ran out of the lab, and I stayed outside, waiting for somebody to rush out and talk some sense into me, but nobody came.I guess my Father figured that I knew the forest well enough and that I needed sometime by myself to cool down.After waiting awhile, on the other hand, I just took off and ran deep into the forest.I did not know where I wanted to go, I just wanted someplace safe, a haven. My feet carried my right to the doorstep of this chapel.I always knew it was here; there was Mass on most Saturdays, when Father Flannigan came back here.Most of the time, he lived in the city with St. Joan of Arc's Parish.My family and I, and sometimes Kenneth, came here for Mass when we could all make it.I remember sitting in the courtyard before I finally worked up the courage to open the doors.When I found that they were unlocked, I came in and prayed through the night and eventually fell asleep.I think that Father Flannigan came in sometime during the night, because in the morning, there was a plate of hot food transported into the chapel.I realized that when I had come in, I had probably set off some sort of silent security system.Despite the fact that I had stayed here the entire night, I did not want to go home, so I stayed longer.Father Flannigan came in again during the night and found me.He talked to me for a few minutes, suggesting that I go home, that my parents were probably worried, but if I wanted to, I was still welcome to stay.I made him promise that he would not send a holocomm to my parents and tell them where I was, but all he could say was that he wouldn't lie.But I did not stay that night.Kenneth came in during dusk and found me.He said that everyone was sick with worry and he asked me why had I run off, was I all right.We talked for three straight hours in here, and finally he succeeded in talking me into going home.That night, we really grew into true friends.We shared everything from then on- and I never realized how much I missed that friendship until now…" I said, my voice constricting."We came back here often- just him and me- and even though we came and went mostly in silence, it was time that we spent together just the two of us to take a break in life's hectic schedule and remember who we were and what we were doing here."I gave a small chuckle."You know what's funny?" I asked.

Tom returned a smile."No, what?"

"When you first came in," I began, "I thought you were Kenneth.You remind me so much of him."

Tom nodded."Yeah, you told me that once, when I first took you out to dinner in the holodeck in that German restaurant."

I smiled deeper at the memory."And I walked out on you?" I asked deviously.

Tom chuckled."Yeah," he said with a sigh."Good times."

"Remember that night when you found me crying?" I asked.

Tom nodded."And I stayed with you all night just talking?Yeah, I remember."

I nodded in accordance."Yeah," I mimicked, "good times."

Tom smiled evilly."What about the time I finished those thirty some sensor scans for you?"

"And they had to be all redone because you fouled them up?" I joked.

Tom looked abhorred."That's a lie, Ensign Anderson, and you know it."

I stood up and gave a small bow."Yes it is, m'lord."

Tom just shook his head."Good times," he said again as he pulled me back down.

I collapsed back down onto the pew in laughter.I had not felt this good in months."What about the time, not too long ago, when you were leaving to flush out the spy?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows."And you came into my quarters as soon as you found out and started screaming- saying that I was throwing away my life, it was the biggest mistake that I had ever made, and I wouldn't live long enough to find anything just as good?"

"And when you told me that this had all been a façade, that you were hated, that nobody cared about you, I told you that Neelix cared, that Samantha Wildman cared, that Kes cared, that I cared, that Harry cared, and that even maybe the Captain cared?" I continued.

"And when I laughed in your face, you slapped me?" Tom asked.

"And I told you that you deserved it, that maybe you were right- you did not fit in- but it was only because you were too proud to accept the affection of others?And that I never wanted to see you again?"

Tom winced."Yeah, I remember- that hurt.Especially when you did not come to the transporter room to say good-bye.I almost didn't leave Voyager."

"Good times," I whispered.We both leaned back on the pew, our heads hanging off the edge, just enjoying the silence.

Tom unexpectedly shifted and put his arm around my shoulder."So do you want to tell me what's bothering you?" he asked.

I shook my head."Are you here to hear confession?"

Tom laughed."No, but I'm here to listen."I turned to my left to stare at him."Honest," he pleaded as he raised both of his hands.

I sighed."All right, so far today, my world is falling apart, I have completely alienated Tre'kent, I have dented one of the walls in my room, broke a PADD, blew off B'Elanna, completely confused Samantha until the point where she thinks that I have lost my sanity, and I ended up here, telling my problems to you."

Tom shook his head."Nope, my day cannot top that one.You win, hands down."

"So who sent you?" I accused as I pursed my lips.

He looked hurt."No one.I heard from Ensign Nicoletti that you shared a few harsh words with Tre'kent.She said that your screaming could be heard all over Deck Three."

I shook my head, "She was exaggerating."

"I heard B'Elanna call for a repair crew," he added good-naturedly.

"I told you, I flung a PADD at the wall and dented it, it was nothing."

"I also spoke to Samantha- she was very worried and very concerned about you.She was thinking about calling the Doctor."

I through up my hands in despair."You win," I resolved."So what do you want?"

"Just to talk," Tom said as he shrugged."You obviously some sort of sounding board that will not be so easily offended."

"Tom," I snapped, "this is not something that you can just fix by talking about it.It will not go away.My Father knew what he was doing, Tom, he knew.He knew exactly what he was allowing Dr. Gibralnher to do to me.He knew.Have you read some of those entries?Have you?Because you are not qualified to comment if you haven't read some of them.I couldn't even finish five before I became so nauseated.Its one thing to say it's horrible, and it's another to remember those events, because those are two very different sides of the fence, but to not even know because he was too embarrassed to have me find out.Better to keep me ignorant and have me find out 75,000 lightyears away from Earth, than standing up for me, his own flesh and blood.I do not even know what's me anymore!" I yelled as he pulled me into a hug.

"Christy, you will always be you.But if I bothers you so much, you won't know until you look at the PADD the Doctor gave you…"

I shook my head."I cannot."

Tom grabbed my wrists and pulled them up so that I looked at him."Never say that, never say that.I do not want to hear you ever say that again.You can do anything you want to; after all, I have seen you do it."

"I just thought that I had come so far on Voyager, and now this…"

"You have come far," Tom encouraged.

"I trusted my Father so much, and being betrayed like this… I do not know if I can ever trust anybody like that again, even Tre'kent."

"Is that what your fight was about?" Tom asked kindly.

I shook my head."Sort of, but it was not a fight against Tre'kent, it was a fight between me and myself.I feel like that somehow he is destined to betray me, no matter how much he does not want to.My own Father did."

"Christy, that's foolish.If there has been anybody that I have seen look at you with so much love, it has been Tre'kent.He loves you so much, if you could only see it in his eyes, in his smile, in the way he talks to you.If you could have only seen him in Sickbay.He was there every minute, pacing the room, worried out of his wits.He stayed by your bedside almost the entire time.He loves you so much.If there is any piece of my advice that you listen to tonight, listen to this- Tre'kent loves you very much and never give him up, never Christy, never give him up."

His concern brought a small smile to my face."Thank you," I whispered softly.

"Christy, it is just a suggestion, so do not kill me, but maybe you should take the Doctor up on his offer for counseling."Fast as lightening, he clamped his hand over my mouth."Now don't say a thing, but I think with what you've told me, and with those flashbacks that the Doctor said you might be having pretty soon, and with your vow to Samantha to never speak German again, that perhaps you should consider it…"Slowly he released his hand, and gave me an intent stare.

"I am fine, Tom," I said softly."As long as I have friends like you, I'll be fine."

He smiled."I'm touched, but I cannot help but think that maybe you should also have some professional help."

"I'll be…"

"Fine," Tom finished.

"I'll just take the flashbacks one at a time, and give myself the time to heal.It just will take time, but eventually I hope that there will be that day where I will wake up and the hurt will not be there anymore."

He touched my chin and brought it up, leveling my gaze with his."My doors will always be open if you ever need to talk," he said determinedly."Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, except when I am on duty, and even then I am sure that I can bargain my way off just for you."

I gave him a fake smile."I know," I said, settling back down on the pew and dropping my stare back down to the floor."You know, I have realized why I don't miss him as much when I am with you…"

"Miss who?" Tom asked.

"Kenneth.It's because when I'm with you, I'm with Kenneth," I admitted softly."And everything doesn't hurt as much anymore."

"It's 18:30 hours," Tom announced abruptly.

In fear, I jumped out of the pew."I'll be late for my meeting with the Captain!" I exclaimed.

With a ridiculous grin on his face, Tom stood up, stretched, and then bowed very seriously."Calm down, m'lady, I'll escort you to the bridge."

**To be continued…**

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	11. Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 11

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 11

**Author: Christy Anderson**

**You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson, Tre'kent, and a few selected insignificant characters.**

**And finally, after two months, I have reached the end. I am not sure if this is final; I may right one more sequel to make the set complete. But until then, I think this is a good place to end this. I appreciate your patience, it must have been trying and I thank those that have hung in with me there even after that major plot twist. That is really where I planned to go, although it took me a while to establish some of those facts. Always, Christy-- God bless **

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**Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 11**

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As I stepped out of the turbolift, the Bridge fell silent. Tom offered a supporting pat on the shoulder as he less-than-gently shoved me out and closed the doors. "Mess Hall," I could hear him command as the turbolift began to whirr away. Chakotay, from the commanding chair of the bridge, stood up and turned around.

"Commander," I acknowledged dazedly.

"Ensign," he answered. He crossed the Bridge without a word, and hit the holochimes on the door to the Captain's Ready Room. The doors swished open, and Chakotay entered quickly. Recovering from my trance, I walked over to the doors, and stood outside patiently, waiting to be admitted. Within five minutes, Chakotay came out and gave me the standard nod to signal that it was okay to enter. "Ensign," he said before he turned away, "I am sorry for what happened." With that said, he crossed the Bridge again to his command chair and slid in as silently as he had left.

"Come in," I heard the Captain call. Ignoring Chakotay's strange behavior, I entered Captain Janeway's Ready Room determined not to cry.

The Captain sat at her round desk, a mound of ship's status reports surrounding her. She had her hair pulled up in its usual bun, now slightly falling apart. On the table to the left of the room, there was a bowl of unfinished vegetable bouillon.

"Christy," she called warmly. "How are feeling?"

I forced a smile and looked her in the eye, remembering my last psychotic episode in Sickbay. "Well," I lied.

A strange expression spread over her face, but it was quickly wiped away. She did not believe me, I realized. However, the Captain deserted the subject and got straight to business.

"I have some good news," she began in her normal professional way, "and some bad. Let's start off with the worst of it." Hastily, she turned to the right, and her hands shoved a pile of data PADDS to the end of the desk and picked out a large one on the opposite side. Swiveling around in her chair, she looked back up to me with troubled eyes as she took a deep breath. "I've decided to close Astrometrics," she announced decidedly.

The color in my face visibly drained at the news. "Why?" I squeaked.

The Captain looked grim. "Tuvok has determined that it is not increasing the efficiency of the forward scans. Stellar Cartography and Operations both work just as well, yet Astrometrics is draining twice the power as Stellar Cartography and Ops combined. It is becoming a drain on a constantly shortened power supply- there is simply not enough power to go around." Looking back at me, she could sense that I was still confused.Drawing in a deep breath she sighed and began to explain things slowly as she would to a small child, "Astrometrics was designed to track ships and spatial anomalies, Christy, not for Delta Quadrant life." 

I gulped, thinking of the shifts that I worked there every week. "What are you going to do with it?" 

The Captain rolled her shoulders back and sighed. "I was going to have Engineering disassemble it and use the equipment for spare parts. The room could be used as storage space."

"Storage Space!" I shrieked.

The Captain raised her eyebrows. "Is there a problem, ensign?" she asked. "I knew Harry might act a little volatile, he gets so attached to these things, but I never expected this from you."

Remembering the lack of credibility for my sanity at the moment, I pasted on another smile. "No, Captain," I answered, "It's just that Astrometrics could be improved. I know it was still in the developing stages when we left Utopia Planetia, we still have the original designs and blueprints in our database, but there may be Delta Quadrant technology that could improve its performance, redesign it for more intensive scans. We could shut it down, to cut the drain on power, but before you disassemble it, I think that you should remember that it could be a help to us someday." Every tone of my voice was saturated with pleading, but I was not about to tell her that Astrometrics had sentimental value to me as I remembered the first day that I had spent there with Tre'kent.

Sitting thoughtfully at her desk, the Captain nodded her head after a few minutes of silent pondering. "That is a sound plan, Ensign, and it shows good ingenuity. There might very well be alien technology that could make Astrometrics quite the advantage to us. I'll make a note of it and propose the plan to Lieutenant Torres and Lieutenant Tuvok. Now, that only leaves reassigning the six shifts you worked there every week. I was thinking about giving them to Stellar Cartography since I took five shifts from them before for your bridge shifts, but I want your input," she said, looking up at me expectantly.

I gulped. Six more shifts in Stellar Cartography? I cringed, thinking of the horrors. Deck 11 was cramped, and bleak. Already, I had difficulty looking forward to the two shifts I worked each week- to have eight was like spending days at a time with the Doctor. "Am I sensing a problem, Ensign?" she asked, oblivious to the obvious dislike held by the crew for those shifts.

"I will come right out and say it, Captain, but I feel that my services could be more efficiently used somewhere else," I explained.

The Captain raised her eyebrows higher. "Go on…" she said with amusement.

"I do not feel as if I am being properly utilized in Stellar Cartography. Recording scans to the ships database and charting unknown terrain can become…" I paused, looking up at her, searching for the right word, "_schrecklich…_ loathsome," I said at last.

"Oh…" she reflected, wincing at the German. "What wouldn't be some 'loathsome', Ensign?" she asked, a mischievous grin playing on her face.

"What about the Science Lab?" I asked.

The Captain raised her eyebrows. "You already work seven shifts there… I'm afraid I won't sign you up for thirteen." The Captain's smile grew larger. "If I allowed you to have your way, you would be working there twenty four hours a day, seven days a week."

"What about the Bridge?" I asked, changing tactics. "You gave Harry all bridge shifts."

The Captain shook her head. "Harry worked only three shifts in Astrometrics and he is the Chief Operations Officer. I don't need an extra hand at the science station for all of the Bridge shifts. At most, I can give you one more."

I gave a half smile, "I'll take it," I said determinedly.

"Now how about seven shifts in Stellar Cartography?"

"What about the Hydroponics Bay?" I asked quickly, ignoring the Captains last comment. Grimly the Captain shook her head. "Repair crews? Mess Hall?" The Captain shook her head again. "Sickbay?" I asked out of desperation.

Now the Captain did a double take. "Ensign," she said with surprise, but she still shook her head. "I'm afraid not. Between Kes, and whatever shifts Tom does work, the Doctor doesn't seem to need much help. As you know, security teams train in emergency first aid. We don't need anyone else in the medical field. So what about Stellar Cartography?"

With time pressing I explored my options, and without fail, one came to mind. "What about Engineering?" I said, crossing my fingers that B'Elanna had found the time to bring the matter up to the Captain.

The self-control over the Captain's face fell, her smile turned to a placid frown. "What did B'Elanna say to you about Engineering?" she accused.

"She offered me a position on her Engineering staff when we were on the mission. She said that she would talk to you about it."

Sensing that I had meant no harm, the Captain shook her head for a final time. "She did," Captain Janeway snapped. "And the answer is no. You have had no formal training, no years at the Academy, no knowledge of Starfleet safety parameters- and I am going to risk the safety of this crew to allow you to run the warp core?"

"Captain," I interrupted, "I hardly believe that B'Elanna would let me even touch the core until she was certain that I could do it."

The Captain looked up from her desk. "The answer is no."

"But Captain, it would be a chance to learn something new. I already have the scientific knowledge of how the warp core works, the warp theory, the reaction of chemicals, elements, and antimatter…"

"The matter is closed, Ensign," the Captain reiterated, a warning note in her voice.

"Captain," I protested insolently. "Let me try. I can report to Stellar Cartography as often as I am needed, but Captain, you have to let me try."

As the words came out of my mouth, something changed on her face, a change that seemed unwarranted. "All right," she resigned. "You may inform Lieutenant Torres that she has won her game. I will assign all five shifts to Engineering, Alpha shift."

Instantly I gagged. "Alpha shift?" I squeaked.

The Captain gave me a blank stare. "Those were Lieutenant Torres' exact words this morning."

"But only the best of her staff work on Alpha shift…"

"And they are the best people to learn from, Christy," the Captain replied, setting the PADD in her hands aside. Wetting her lips, the Captain reached for a second PADD. "Now to a different matter…" her voice trailed off. "Ensign, Lieutenant Tuvok came in here two hours ago and reported that the fifth repair team this month had been dispatched by Lieutenant Torres. But instead of her quarters or Main Engineering, the team was dispatched to Deck Three, Section Beta 4, Room 45- quarters issued to a certain Ensign Christy Anderson."

My face paled. "It was an accident, Captain…" I stammered.

The Captain continued on, overlooking my apology. "A large dent to the interior of the front wall, visible to the outside of the quarters in the corridor; 8 inches long, and 4 inches in diameter, 6 inches deep…" she looked up at me and raised her eyebrows as high as they would go. "Impressive dent. Tuvok calculated that you impaired structural integrity by 0.000036%."

I gulped, unable to read the Captain's feelings on the matter. "I assume full responsibility for the matter," I heard myself say.

"Any reasons?" she continued to probe.

"No," I answered swiftly, knowing that excuses would not get me anywhere.

"An awful example to set, Lieutenant."

I remained frozen and rooted to the spot; suddenly it was hard to breathe, just like Tom had described to me once. I looked into her eyes to see if she was joking. "It's Ensign, Captain," I gently reminded her, thinking that she had forgotten my title for an instant.

The Captain smiled. "No, it's Lieutenant Anderson. I made an official entry into the logs.You've just been promoted. Congratulations, Christy!"

My eyes were still glued wide open, and words were escaping my grasp. "Thank you, Captain," I managed at last as she came up to me with a new pip in her hand. I turned my head as she pinned it on the collar of my uniform, her eyes dancing with pride.

"Your father would be proud," the Captain consoled rapidly, smiling as she backed away."I do not want you to think that I am giving this to you out of pity, Christy.You have earned this."She sighed as a faraway look crossed her face."When I was first promoted, it was a week after my father and my fiancé had died.This is a similar situation.Needless to say, I was heartbroken, and I stood in that stuffy room being promoted.Did I deserve it after I had let them died?Couldn't there have been something that would have saved them?I wanted to ask my commanding officer those exact things on that day, but I never worked up the courage to and I spent the next three years trying to answer those exact questions..." her voice trailed off.

"And did you, Captain? Answer them, I mean?" I suddenly interjected.

Her eyes snapped back to full alert. "Eventually," she said softly. "Eventually..."

I smiled. "You did, Captain... you deserved to be here, to guide us, to be our Captain... If anyone, it was you..." I started inarticulately.

She looked up from the PADD unaware. "I have eight letters of recommendation here that you have accumulated since we've been here in the Delta Quadrant. The authors vary... Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, Ensign Dresden, Lieutenant Stanfield, Lieutenant Gebhart, Lieutenant Roberts, and myself... Tom and B'Elanna turned theirs in four days ago. It seems you made quite the impression as the head of this mission. B'Elanna wrote about the antigravity technology that you developed on the shuttle. She reports that it can be adapted and put into all of the shuttlecraft and eventually Voyager as a safety precaution against wormholes. She also say that your 'morning mission launch program' can be developed into a standard 'politically correct' program designed to serve other commanders of future away missions…" The Captain chuckled. "I have to admit, I looked at that program myself, ingenious, if not hilarious… although Tom claims that you, oh what was the phrase, 'blew out his eardrums'?"

I nodded as I laughed. "It was not something that I planned for future use. It was created to keep my jitters in place, although I am sure that if you want, it can be converted…"

"Of course, of course, as soon as you can…" she tapped her fingers nervously on her desk. "The next two letters made me nervous. Lieutenant Stanfield praised the creation of a certain macro program you invented for the crewmen in Stellar Cartography. He says it cuts down the time to map the quadrant in half, and that you are not required to watch the mapping process quite as much. He apologizes that he failed to show the program to me earlier and have it officially approved," she speculated, shaking her head. "He succeeded in including it in his recommendation this time. I sent the program to Tuvok for analysis. He says the results are promising. And then we have Lieutenant Gebhart, who confesses that he leaves you in charge of the Science Lab, even though you are not the senior officer there…" She looked up at me expectantly. "Any more surprises, Lieutenant?"

I gulped, not knowing what others had admitted to in their letters to the Captain. The Captain inhaled a deep breath. "Well, I have a letter from Ensign Kim and Ensign Dresden commending your personal examples, your gift of self, your willingness to help others, and your dependability and reliability. Massive letters, considering that Ensigns are not allowed to write letters of commendation for fellow Starfleet crewmembers unless directly asked to do so," she informed me matter-of-factly. "But that changes- now," she continued, "There is always room for slight improvement here in the Delta Quadrant." Her tone of voice was daring, I had never seen her act so compassionate and carefree. For these brief moments she walked through her Ready Room without her extra burden, and with a wide smile that so frequently disappeared. "The last two letters," she said as she began to pace back and forth, "I hope you will find interesting. Lieutenant Roberts, who worked in Astrometrics for two shifts, confirms that you are an outstanding member of this crew and a fine addition that would be missed. He says that you work well with the group, that you accomplish goals more than he can ever do when he is actually left in charge of Astrometrics. He writes, 'Captain, out of all the crewmen on board, I believe that this young ensign, with her natural dedication and hard work, has proven herself worthy of the uniform that she wears and deserves a promotion to Lieutenant.One day she will make a fine captain.'"

Sighing for dramatic effect, she rolled her shoulders and passed off the PADD to her other hand.** "The last one," she named slowly, "by your Captain," she added, "commends you for succeeding in your mission, and firmly, but carefully assisting your Captain in making the best decision for the crew, not something I hope you make a habit of, but if it ever deems necessary again…" She put down the PADD on her desk and glanced up at me, still standing at attention in the same place.**

My head was swimming with a flood of thoughts. I recalled the Captain's threat of a trip to the brig if I had ever challenged her authority again, and here she was bestowing her permission on such future actions. Her words on the mission, though, stuck in my head and rang clear again. "Success of the mission?" I asked perplexedly.

Her face grew warm. "We gathered sixty gigaquads of sensor information from the shuttle's database. You made first contact with a hostile species, the Briikortian, and managed to download their entire database. We know everything about them in case we ever encounter them again. I would call that a success." 

"In a strange sense," I muttered before I could stop myself.

The Captain's face made a wry expression, but she chose to say nothing. "Neelix wants to hold a reception in the holodeck tonight in honor of your promotion."

"Tonight?" I asked more politely.

She nodded. "It starts at 20:00 hours, and the wear is casual. The crew has been informed," she confessed as she smiled suspiciously, " We told them before you woke up. Neelix has been planning this for days, so please show up. I had the Doctor clear you for this social gathering, but you cannot start duty shifts for a week."

My face fell. "I was hoping to get back to work tomorrow, Captain."

"Absolutely out of the question," she informed me swiftly. "This time off will give you a chance to come to terms with your situation. It's a life changing revelation, and you need time to heal and reflect. You can seize this opportunity to read through the data PADDS in your quarters and write your official report. It may not seem like much to do, but I know how difficult and painful you are going to find this experience to be…" her voice trailed off. "You are dismissed, Lieutenant."

In a stupor, I twirled around and staggered out of her Ready Room, spilling onto the Bridge. Feeling ridiculous, I stepped into the turbolift and shut the doors, pondering the options. "Sickbay," I commanded without a second thought. I sauntered down the corridor and into the brightly lit room. The Doctor shimmered into view.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency," he intoned.

"There is none," I snapped swiftly to cut him off. "I came to apologize for my behavior earlier today."

The Doctor shook his head and rolled his eyes impatiently. "There is no need to apologize. I am a hologram. I have no feelings to hurt. Besides an apology will not get you to work anytime faster. A week, Lieutenant, that's what I told the Captain."

I did a double take. "How did you know?" I asked curiously.

The Doctor rolled his eyes again. "Lieutenant? There is an extra pip on your collar, and I overheard the Captain and the Commander discussing it a few days ago," he paused. "Now if that was all?"

I shook my head. "No," I replied hurriedly. "No, an apology is necessary. I had no need to yell at you, I should have been more considerate. I am very sorry for my irrational actions."

The Doctor sighed. "Apology accepted. Now if that is all?"

I wet my lips nervously and shook my head again. "No," I began falteringly, "I came to inquire about… the… um… about the… the… counseling."

The Doctor looked surprised. "Oh," he speculated. He dropped the hyposprays that he had picked up off the medical tray and turned to me. "Lieutenant, this project was called 'Child of Night', a German subtitle that was given to the book Frankensteinin the late 22nd century. If you are not familiar with the book, I would be happy to give you a summary.In short, for those of us who choose to remain ignorant and blind, Dr. Gibralnher fancied you his medical creation, which he rescued. Your unique situation was caused by a freak accident as an unborn child, and he exploited it for thirteen years, giving you drugs to block the specific memory engrams related to those events. You are eighteen years old, and you have been separated from your father for over a year, I have reconstructed your memory pathways, and you are about to begin experiencing flashbacks from these times. This experience will be more than painful and traumatic- it could be psychologically impairing-" he broke off and reduced the hyperactivity of his subroutines, "counseling is stressfully advised, but you have to be sure that this is what you want."

I backed up two steps as the hot words came out of his mouth. I knew everything that he was saying, all of it was true, and it hurt deeply like a fatal wound. "I came to see that if I ever… needed a session… that I could… if you are still… if the medical option is still… if you would…"

"Lieutenant Torres to Lieutenant Anderson," my Comm badge erupted.

I let out a breath of relief. "Anderson here," I responded.

"Please report to Engineering."

I tapped my Comm badge. "On my way." And without any extra words I left Sickbay, the Doctor, and the hurt behind.

Coming in through the doors of Main Engineering, B'Elanna was buzzing around busily, Warp Core Diagnostics in full swing. The moment the doors swished shut, she looked up, and when she saw me, she put down the PADD in hand instantaneously.

"Congratulations," she said happily.

I smiled at her cheerfulness. "Thank you," I replied, "but how did you know?"

"You forget that I had the 18:00 hours appointment with the Captain in her Ready Room, she told me that was what she was going to do. I've known for almost two weeks now, it's about time…"

"Well, it looks like you have other congratulations to offer- the Captain approved 5 Alpha sifts in Engineering."

B'Elanna smiled coyly. "I knew she would," she divulged as she grabbed a PADD from a nearby console. With the touch of a button, the screen lit up brightly. Her gaze went back to my face as she handed it out. "Your first assignment…"

Slowly I reached out and took the PADD. Hurriedly I read through the first few words with a great sense of exhilaration. "Antigravity?" I asked enthusiastically.

Pushing her brown hair back behind her ear, she gave her standard nod. "It was your idea…" her voice trailed off with its sentimentality and she straightened her posture, suddenly professional. "I have assigned you to the group that I am sparing for this project. I have the idea preliminarily approved, and the plan is to design and install an antigravity system in all of the shuttlecraft, and eventually in Voyager. You are in charge of the group while the project is still in design. Utilize your staff, I have assigned some of the best that I have in Engineering. They all work well together. I have assigned Lieutenant Carey as your second-in-command; he will take over as soon as the project hits installation. You can take this time to observe and learn…" B'Elanna cut off and looked around me. "In fact there he is now. Since the Doctor will not let you work for a week, you can employ this time to talk to him now. I have already briefed him on all of the aspects of the project." In a graceful, but hasty movement, she sidestepped me. "Lieutenant Carey," she addressed, "Take a break and brief Lieutenant Anderson further on the Antigravity Project." With a resolute nod she turned away and seized a toolbox. "I have some more work to be done. Ensign Cobey, finish those diagnostics on the warp nacelles; I need them now."

Dodging different ensigns, B'Elanna made her way to the lift and left for the upper deck of Engineering. Lieutenant Carey came over, a congenial smile on his face. "Good day, Lieutenant," he greeted, "Congratulations on your promotion."

"Thank you," I managed to mutter nervously, "So where do we start?"

"Meetings, ideas, designs, deadlines, prototypes, tests… The beginning?" he joked.

On a short fuse, I glared. "When do we meet? Is there a fixed time at the moment?"

"Not that I am aware of," he answered honestly. "If you want…"

An explosive clatter rang from the back of the upper deck of Engineering. Profane curses began to follow. "Torres to Paris. Report to the upper deck of Engineering immediately," a voice yelled. "Christy!!"

Without hesitation, I sprang up the ladder. B'Elanna was kneeling at the far end of the deck, examining a removed panel from a console. "I don't believe it…" she whispered as she shook her pale face veraciously. As I approached her, she handed the lightweight panel out to me, her hands were shaking and white around the knuckles, and gulped; the meaning was tacit.

With eyes as sharp as hawk's, I scrutinized the panel- top to bottom, left to right. What captured my glance, in the bottom right hand corner, was the most frightening words that I had ever read in my life, or that I had ever written:"**_To seek out new worlds, to investigate new cultures, to explore the expanse of space, to be led by the stars in search of home— the deep conviction of true Voyagers. L.T.P., L.B.T., L.C.A._**"

I began to sweat nervously, and my heart quickened, the adrenaline pumping through my veins. "The quote… the mission… the probe… how?" I began to shake my head. "It was E.C.A.," I croaked. "Ensign Christy Anderson- how can it be L.C.A.?"

B'Elanna only stared at me. "I think that is the worst of our problems," she said guardedly. At that moment Tom burst through the doors of Engineering, panting heavily.

"What is it?" he inquired. "You sounded panicked."

Wordlessly, B'Elanna held the panel out to him. His eyes widened as he saw the quote; foolishly he stood there, paralyzed. "What have we done?" he stammered, unaware that crewmen were beginning to stare.

B'Elanna pursed her lips together stubbornly. "I don't know, but I am going to find out." With one transient peek around the room, she began to bark out orders. "Ensign Daniels and Ensign Tabor, I want you to search Voyager's database for this inscription. No questions- just get to work, now." She ventured forth to the railing and called down with authority. "Attention. Everyone, who is not working on Engineering Diagnostics, assemble into groups of two. I want you to remove every single panel on this ship. Note any inscription you find on the back, and count how many times you find it. Cover this ship from stem to stern, and send in your report as soon as you are finished. Lieutenant Parkins and Lieutenant Baker, you are in charge of organizing this. Begin working, I expect a report within the hour."

Heaving a sigh, she turned around and sank back against the wall. Tom walked over to her, speaking softly. Pushing them out of my mind, I walked over to check out the ensigns' progress. "B'Elanna," I called, motioning for the ensigns to freeze the screen. "Come look at this." As she came over, I stepped aside for her to see the screen on the console without obstruction. "Message found in the Beta quadrant on stardate 29135.684… Adopted as the motto on stardate 30005.01… unanimously believed to be a warning from the future, cautioning to always keep their motives pure and focused…"

"Heavens…" Tom whispered.

"What are we going to do?" I whispered to B'Elanna.

"Lieutenant," Ensign Tabor called from her station. "Reports are coming in… the inscription count of the one you found in this panel of Engineering is in 50 panels in the Mess Hall, 75 panels on the Bridge, 30 panels in Cargo Bay 2, and 53 so far in Sickbay…"

"Captain to Lieutenant Torres," a voice over the Comm interrupted.

"Torres here, Captain," B'Elanna responded.

"Some crewmen from Engineering were here and removed and replaced all of the panels on the Bridge- do you have an explanation?"

B'Elanna gulped. "I might Captain, but it's a long one…"

"I would love to hear it, Lieutenant, in my Ready Room. Report to the Bridge at once," the voice commanded.

Tom shook his head, furrowed in thought."In a sense," he whispered nervously, "we're responsible for what Starfleet is today… keeping motives pure, exploring space… what other words could describe Starfleet better?"

"A temporal paradox," I agreed morbidly.

"How can we tell the Captain that we made her what she was?" Tom continued.

B'Elanna shook her head."I'm going to the Bridge- I'll tell the Captain…"

Tom cut her off."I'm going with you," he demanded.She nodded passively, scenes from the mission still fresh in her mind.

"Why don't you get some rest, Christy, before tonight?The Captain will call you up if she needs you," she suggested gently as the three of us exited Main Engineering.

I nodded."I'll see you tonight," I promised as I turned into another corridor, but not before seeing the bizarre smile on her face when she whacked Tom after he put his arm around her shoulder.

"Deck 7," I commanded, stepping into the turbolift. Jerking to a halt, I was spilled out into another hallway, and walked through the branching corridors with ease that only came with the familiarity of age. Stopping at one door in particular, I skipped ringing the holochimes and punched in the four number entrance code. Silently the doors hissed open and I stepped into the dark room, noticing the black shadow of a person in the far corner of the room. Noiselessly I crept forward, unnoticeably, certain that the figure was unconscious of my presence in the room. More and more, I could see the enchanting candlelight, the rise and pattern of incense, floral, and candle arrangements, and a picture of a homely middle-aged woman, motherly, lying on the top of the altar. The familiar young man knelt on the floor, his head bowed silently in prayer, meditative, tranquil, and calm. Not wishing to disturb the scene. I slid to my knees beside him, offering up a prayer.

The figure jumped back, startled. "I didn't hear you come in," he stammered when he recognized my face.

**I came to apologize,** I transmitted.

Tre'kent smiled and put his arm around my shoulders. **The apology is unwarranted… you have done nothing wrong.**

**At least I can lose my head with you-- but Tre'kent I pulled away be…**

"No," he warned verbally as he pulled me in closer. "You do not have to apologize. I understand that you are going through a difficult time… losing your cool is a way of dealing with the plethora of emotional anguish… I should know because I dealt with the reaction of my parents in the same way. Your circumstances are traumatic, and I know you feel hurt and betrayed, and you are wondering if you can ever trust anyone again."

I buried my face in his chest and cried. "I… I knew you'd understand…" I spluttered.

He grabbed my arms and pulled me away to get a better look at me. "Whoa!" he exclaimed out of the blue. "Is that a new pip, Lieutenant?" he teased. "Congratulations!"

I burst out in laughter, and a carefree smile played upon my lips.

**Do it again,** he transmitted.

**What?** I asked him clumsily.

"Smile," he answered verbally. "That was the happiest that I have seen you in a very long time."

Upon request, I smiled again, feeling very ridiculous. Tre'kent sighed. "You're beautiful," he whispered. Shaking his head, he cleared his mind and stared me in the eyes. "I have a confession…" he began.

**Oh,** I transmitted over the telepathic link.

He smiled lovingly."When I first met you, it was the night of the banquet… I came in late with Dr. Migfay.You introduced yourself to me when we were seated, and you smiled.It was the most charming smile that anyone had bestowed upon me…" I began to giggle at his silliness."Don't laugh," he reprimanded, "You were so innocent- not corrupted by hate or prejudice- you were not like the people that lived on my planet.You did not make accusations or judgements.You were yourself, with a beautiful smile that lit up the room and temporarily banished your burdens far away, and the burdens of others around you." He paused and shook his head."You know, Christy, sometimes I think he knew…"

"Who knew what?" I inquired.

Tre'kent pulled me closer."Dr. Migfay, the future," he responded."That night we went back to the house and he said something that I'll never forget.'What do you think about exploring space, Tre'kent?' I must have answered him something because after opening the door and letting me in, he left to his part of the house, smiled, and said goodbye instead of goodnight.Next thing I know, I'm living on Voyager, with you, exploring space, and I see that blithe smile of yours that first captured me everyday, and I hear myself vowing that I will always make sure that that smile stays upon your face, and that I will defeat all of your inner demons.Crazy?" he asked rhetorically.I found myself shaking my head, but he cupped it up with his hand, and met my gaze."I vowed and I will, I will live up to my promise to myself…" he spoke slowly, his face painted with compassion, "And we will, we will defeat whatever comes in our paths… together, and the first step is getting through this… together.I promise you, Christy, there is no place in the universe so far removed that I will not be near you to defend you, to stand with you, beside you, behind you."

I felt the tears welling up in the back of my eyes, and my throat was constricting, as the tears began to flow onto his shoulder. For the moment, it was clear, and I knew the extent of forever.**_Ich weiß…_ I know.**

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The scene in the holodeck shimmered, lively music blaring in 'old' Sandrine's. The lights were darkened, and air was heavy. There was a banner in the front of the room that read, "Congratulations, Christy".The pool table had been deleted, the bartender too, and the annoying "puppy dog" that doted on Tom so. The sounds of chatter and of laughter filled the air as people socialized and fraternized for one of the few times they ever got. Crewmen were dancing, some of them in uniform, some of them in dresses and suits, others much more casual. Neelix was bustling around in his apron, serving tables, as well as cooking. I joyously stepped through those doors in a modern-type blue dress, edged with silver and black, a gift from Samantha for this occasion. Neelix, noticing my presence, dropped his tray and began to clap until everyone in the holodeck was applauding and yelling out their heartfelt congratulations. The entire room was cheering for me, and I was lost in the moment of appreciation.It reminded me of how much more life in the Delta Quadrant grew comfortable.

I was frozen, rooted to the spot, and Tom, who had escorted me to the holodeck in case 'I got lost', took the initiative and guided me to the table where the Captain was sitting as the noise began to calm down. "Just relax," he whispered encouragingly. Pulling out my chair silently, he bowed deeply. "It was a pleasure m'lady," he teased as he flitted off, Jenny Delaney at his elbow, "I'll see you later."

The Captain looked confused. "What was that about?"

I grinned. "Nothing," I explained.

She studied my face. "You dressed up for the occasion, Christy," she commented.

"The dress is a gift from Ensign Wildman and Naomi," I replied, noting her dress uniform. "You're in your dress uniform."

"So I am, Lieutenant…" she paused. "B'Elanna told me about the message, and the inscription," she said at last.

I nodded passively. "What's to be done, Captain?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I hate temporal paradoxes…" she commented randomly."But I do not think that there is much that we can do… for now, we can keep it quiet…" She sighed.

"Of course," I reaffirmed as I nodded. "I apologize for my rash action, I violated the Prime Directive by sending that message through the wormhole."

She shook her head. "It was an epitaph, Lieutenant, that you were hoping we would find if you all died. You almost died.There is no need for apologies or court martial; let us leave it at that…" an evil grin came over her face. "I heard a nasty rumor, today, several in fact, concerning you. I think my favorite had to be one I heard right after I dismissed you from the Ready Room. Jenny Delaney came up to me, awfully frightened and pale, and told me that you had murdered Tre'kent. Come to think of it, I have not seen him since this afternoon."

My face flooded with horror. "What?" I gasped.

"Jenny Delaney told me that you murdered Tre'kent. She said that there was a great deal of yelling and screaming, and Megan said that she heard phasor fire. She almost requested an emergency beam out for him to Sickbay," she laughed.

I examined her face, carefully. "Idle gossip," I said at last.

The Captain chuckled. "There always is on a starship this small, but out of all of my years in Starfleet, I have never heard a more ridiculous rumor..." her voice trailed off and her eyes became misty. "They all look so happy," she vocally mused as she gestured to the crew. I turned my head. "Look at Harry and B'Elanna dancing." She laughed harmoniously. "Who would have thought?"

I followed her gaze in time to see Tom cut in, and dance away with B'Elanna. Catching my gaze, Harry took the initiative and walked over, but the Captain did not notice. "Chakotay's not here…" she mulled absently. "He still must be on the Bridge with Tuvok…"

"Good evening, Captain, Lieutenant," Harry greeted formally.

"Ensign," the Captain acknowledged.

"Good Evening, Harry."

Harry gave me a quick pat on the shoulder. "Congratulations on your promotion."

"Thank you," I returned warmly.

The Captain shook her head. "Loosen up your posture, Ensign, and pull up a chair…"

"Excuse me," a familiar voice interrupted. "But if I may steal this young lady away for the remainder of the night."

The Captain gave an official nod of approval. "By all means," she replied as Harry stepped away to reveal Tre'kent, all clad up in a suit. With an impish smile, he gave a half-bow, and kissed my hand. "May I?" he asked.

**Of course,** I transmitted. "You can have my seat, Harry," I offered before Tre'kent swept me onto the dance floor. As he twirled me around to the start of a classical selection that Neelix had just put on, I looked deep into his eyes, and gave him my best blank expression. "You're late," I accused gently.

Tre'kent pulled me closer, leading to the four-beat rhythm of the music. **I'm not,** he transmitted, **I was on time to the second.**

I gave him his favorite smile. **How do you figure?** I asked.

He leaned over and kissed my cheek softly. **Remember when Dr. Migfay and I walked into the banquet, we were twenty two minutes late. And when I walked into your 18th birthday party, I was twenty two minutes late too. And here, Christy, for your promotion, on Voyager, the time is 20:22 hours, I just walked in, and we are just beginning our first dance of many.**

I suddenly stopped dancing to stare intensely at his face, memorizing all of it, and my heart beat quickening. **You were an hour and twenty three minutes late**, I transmitted trivially, the words could barely escape my thoughts. Now it was Tre'kent's turn to smile, making it harder for me to control the wave of extreme happiness that was overcoming me. Life was wonderful, and it was hard to recall the reason for heated scene in my quarters, or the thoughts of despair and tragedy.He was here to stay, here to protect me forever, and I needed that so much.The tears began to roll down my cheek one after another, until Tre'kent reached up to wipe them away.

**I didn't mean to make you cry, **he apologized daftly. **Christy?**

I smiled through the tears. "_So lang wie Dich seien Dich hier… _As long as you are here."

Tre'kent leaned down impulsively and kissed me, wrapping his arms protectively around my neck; a kiss that I returned readily, to the hoots and hollers and whistles coming from the surrounding crew. My cheeks turned bright red, as Tre'kent, who was just as embarrassed, gracefully began to dance with me again. One, two, three… one, two, three… one, two, three… I was happier then than I had ever been, content to just stay there for an eternity spinning…, and spinning…, and spinning…, and spinning around… until it was just he and I.

**_Das Ende…_**** The End**

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